Extreme Weight Loss (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Ummm. So, Nicole Eggert will help someone on her quest to lose weight, and presumably that person will help Nicole Eggert recapture her relevance. Also, I just looked up a few recent images of Nicole Eggert, and you know what? I’m not going there.
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.) — It’s probably time to turn to Netflix Instant to catch up on some comedies.
The Voice (NBC, 8 p.m.) — The Voice is like the NBA playoffs. They go on forever, and by the time they arrive at the end, no one cares anymore. Tonight, Lebron James will perform a Taylor Swift song. Or something.
American’s Got Talent (NBC, 9:01) — Or, you know, you could rewatch season four of Arrested Development again.
Don’t Be Tardy (Bravo, 10 p.m.) — The TV Guide description says, “Kim and the family celebrate the holidays, but Kim’s fake Christmas trees stir up tension with Kroy, who would rather have a real tree.” Kim? Is this another Kardashian show? Christ.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Nathan Fillion is on Dave, Owen Wilson is on Leno, Kimmel has Amy Adams, Bill Maher is on Ferguson, Rose Byrne stops by Fallon, Zack Snyder is on Carson Daly, Brian Williams does The Daily Show, and Nick Offerman is on Conan.