Archer (FX, 10:00 p.m.) — Slater returns to tell the group that Conway Stern’s cover has been blown and Archer goes on a “revenge rampage” against the man who literally stabbed him in the back.
The World Dog Awards (CW, 8:00 p.m.) — This is an awards show that honors the best dog performances in film and television. There is also a Critics Choice Award show on tonight but I chose to highlight this one instead. Also, the dog from John Wick should win EVERYTHING.
Mom (CBS, 8:30 p.m.) — On tonight’s episode, Christy decides that she doesn’t want to be a waitress anymore. Will this lead to a natural career progression where she gets a job like at a call center or will sitcom magic make her an executive at a department store (Friends) or a pharmaceutical sales rep (Big Bang Theory)?
Two And A Half Men (CBS, 9:00 p.m.) — Walden may lose his adopted son now that a social worker has discovered that he and Alan aren’t a real couple. It would be amazing if Angus Jones played the social worker. Let’s get weird as we slalom toward the end, Chuck Lorre!
Portlandia (IFC, 10:00 p.m.) — Lance and Nina go through couple’s counseling.
Parenthood (NBC, 10:00 p.m.) — Zeek and Camille ask Max to help them after they discover a mysterious bundle of old undeveloped films. He takes on the assignment but quickly discovers that he is in over his head and reaches out to Joaquin Phoenix to guide him through LA’s underworld. 50% of this is true.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Johnny Depp and Marion Cotillard on Kimmel; Larry David and Sleater-Kinney on Letterman; Kristin Chenoweth on The Talk; Kevin Hart, Jay Baruchel, and Meghan Trainor on Fallon; Kristen Stewart on Meyers; Sienna Miller on The Daily Show; and Patton Oswalt and Sally Hawkins on Conan.
