The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.) – Series premiere. I am excited for the premiere of this show for a number of reasons: it has a very cool premise (“spying during the Cold War” is a plot gold mine if you dig a level or two below the surface stuff that everyone else does), FX has a good track record with hour-long dramas, Keri Russell performs oral sex on some guy, and, well, I need something else to watch on Wednesday nights. But mostly, I’m looking forward to it because JESUS ENOUGH WITH THE COMMERCIALS I GET IT. Maybe I watch FX more than most people, but that song in the background of the promo is starting to make my eye twitch.
Suburgatory (ABC, 9:30 p.m) – Wilmer Valderrama returns as Yoni. Outside of Mila Kunis, it’s been rough sledding for the cast of That 70s Show lately. I mean, even when Ashton Kutcher lands a big role he ends up in the hospital with a case of “LOL Look Who Tried To Method Act.” A real shame. Sort of.
Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials 2013 (CBS, 8 p.m.) – When networks air hour-long shows about commercials they should have to air something else during the breaks. Clips of dogs in clothes, rap videos, Keanu Reeves talking into his webcam about philosophy, anything. Commercials on commercials should be illegal.
Arrow/Supernatural (The CW, 8-10 p.m.) – I love that The CW’s niche is “shows about rich teenagers and also shows about monsters and stuff and sometimes both.”
Workaholics/Kroll Show (Comedy Central, 10-11 p.m.) – Kroll Show just got picked up for a second season. Said their president of programming: “Nick plays his characters with such comedic conviction, it’s become obvious he has a serious personality disorder. We hope another season will help him discover who he really is.”
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jason Bateman and Alison Brie on Letterman; Dominic Monaghan and Ellie Kemper on Ferguson; Magic Johnson and Nicholas Hoult on Kimmel; Charlie Sheen and David O’Russell on Leno; Jude Law and Mike Tyson on Fallon (and Michael Bolton joins The Roots); and Adam Scott and Sanjay Gupta on Conan.