Workaholics/Kroll Show (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) — Season/series premieres. Tonight’s episode of Workaholics is called “Booger Nights,” which is the show, now in the second half of its third season, in a nutshell: amusing juvenile humor mixed with pop culture references. We’ll have a recap tomorrow. Also, don’t forget to watch the very funny Kroll Show after. Need we mention Chelsea Peretti’s boobs again? (We need.)
American Idol (Fox, 8 p.m.) — Season premiere. So it begins, with Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, and Keith Urban joining Randy Jackson. Obviously American Idol is terrible, but as Vulture points out, you best be hoping that your mother and younger sister are watching it if you care about New Girl and Ben & Kate. Those good shows are struggling, ratings-wise, but that’s easier for Fox to swallow if bad show AI is pulling in monster numbers.
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Mike and Frankie have a three-day weekend, so they spend each day doing a different activity with their kids. Axl, paintball range; Brick, sci-fi convention; and Sue, well, the plot description doesn’t say what Sue has planned, but I’m guessing she got the idea from KickinItTeenStyle.com, which needs to actually exist.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.) — Manny’s turning 14, so only 40 more years before his balls drop.
American Horror Story (FX, 10 p.m.) — “Grace’s obsession with the aliens turns violent.” Nothing to not love about that sentence.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and Buddy Guy on Letterman; Mark Wahlberg on Leno; Ray Romano and Amy Brenneman on Kimmel; Don Cheadle and DJ Qualls on Ferguson; Jeremy Renner and Jessie Ware on Fallon; Marion Cotillard on Conan; Jessica Chastain on Stewart; and Tom Brokaw on Colbert.