‘Wheel Of Fortune’: Still The Worst

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12.21.12 38 Comments

One of the few truly undisputed facts in this world is that Jeopardy! is better than Wheel of Fortune in almost every conceivable way. The only edge Wheel has, and it is a minor one, is that its second and third place contestants get to keep the money they earned during the course of the show, whereas the runners-up on Jeopardy! have their totals wiped clean and are given one and two thousand dollar consolation prizes. I can’t even imagine how furious I’d be if I lost by $1 after winning, say, $25,000, and saw my take-home amount slashed by $23,000 at the end of the show. But even then there’s a simple solution, I guess, which is to just win or not whine about how much money they gave you for losing. Either way, the point I’m getting at is that Wheel of Fortune is stupid and you shouldn’t like it.

Example: On a recent episode of the show a contestant named Renee got hosed out of almost $4000 (and, as it turned out, a shot at the final puzzle) because she didn’t pronounce the hard “G” at the end of “Seven Swans A-Swimming.” While I normally would say tough cookies and move along with my day, the thing here is that the “G” WAS ALREADY ON THE BOARD. It’s not like she didn’t know it was there, or didn’t know how to pronounce the word. She just dropped it the same way most of us do while singing “The 12 Days of Christmas” (“eight maids a-milkin’, seven swans a-swimmin’, six geese a-layin’,” etc.) and the judges still wouldn’t give it to her. SHE KNEW THE ANSWER. SHE SOLVED THE PUZZLE. THAT IS THE POINT OF YOUR STUPID SHOW. AND YET YOU WERE ALL “NOPE, WRONG ANSWER” BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN WITH THE WHOLE THING?

Eat sh-t, Wheel of Fortune.

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Brian Grubb is the Editor-at-Large of Uproxx, focusing mostly on television, heists, and big silly movies about things exploding.

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