On their February 2014 cover, V Magazine asked a question that has stumped exactly no one for precisely no amount of years: “Why Can’t Kate Upton Keep Her Clothes On?” Let editor Stephen Gan explain: “Each time I saw [Upton] at a shoot, she had become a bigger and bigger star, and her physique, more and more notorious…It has always intrigued me, as I’m sure it has to most readers, how someone gets embraced by the general public for taking their clothes off and loved by the fashion world for keeping them on.” Uh-huh.
I can’t speak for the fashion world, but as a card-carrying member of the “general public,” a.k.a. a pervert, I’m going to say Upton “can’t” keep her clothes on because: she’s, um, very pretty, far more than any rail-thin model who’s as frail as her favorite food, crackers. That’s why she’s so popular. She’s different, she’s refreshing. She’s Kate Upton.
“Why Is Kate Upton an Atlanta Braves Fan?” Now THAT’S a good question.