Ted Cruz Summons His Inner Lionel Richie For His Super Tuesday Victory Speech

Ted Cruz walked into Super Tuesday like Gary Cooper in High Noon. Nobody was on his side and some of his rivals were openly mocking him in the media. And then when the smoke cleared on Tuesday, Cruz walked away kinda like Gary Cooper in High Noon, but only if Cooper had accidentally stumbled into a boulder that stopped the bad guys’ train in another town.

Cruz won two states on Super Tuesday and his speech made him sound like he walked away with the entire presidency. Not only did Cruz decide to remind us all about the clear facts of the presidential term limits and the electoral process, he also went ahead and claimed that he’s the only candidate with enough moxie to beat Donald Trump. He then does his best Lionel Richie impression while surrounded by his cadre of supporters.

The rest of the speech was the same points we’ve heard from Cruz to this point, including some weird accusations about Donald Trump’s health plan. Not too sure what Donald Trump’s health plan truly is, but I doubt he wants to keep Obamacare around. There’s also some discussion about the apparently “secret” New York Times tape that shows Trump is actually not being completely truthful with the voters. And to think, he claims he isn’t a politician.

Anyway, the real joy from this came in some of the reactions online. Here are a few of my favorites:

And then his nefarious role in the Zodiac murders still looms overhead.

If you want to take in all of Ted Cruz’s wonderful victory speech, take a look below. Fifteen minutes of pure Cruz.