Alabama: True Home of One-Stop Shopping

Here’s a little mom and pop convenience store in Alabama, appropriately next to a church that was designed by a tween playing The Sims. How’d I come across this? All too intimately, I assure you, as I was forced to accompany someone on a trip to Mexico for experimental surgery (but that’s another story). Rest assured that all these items are available, though I would recommend extra wine if you’re going to try the hotdogs. As for the chainsaws and jewelry, maybe you’re asking “Why? What could you be doing where you need all of these things in one stop?”

1. Making a Miley Cyrus music video.

2. Hosting an after-work party for transvestite loggers.

3. Relaxing Joey Chestnut before you murder him.

4. You’re an ice sculptor and you’re running late to your niece’s debutante ball.

4. Meeting Harmony Korine.

I’ll leave the rest to the commenters.

The Morning Links

Ranking Jay-Z And Kanye West’s Albums, From Worst To Best |UPROXX|

The ‘King Of The Hill’ Animation Style Guide Shows The Correct Way To Draw Sexy Peggy Hill |Warming Glow|

Writer’s Room: Scenes We Never Want to See Again |Film Drunk|

Get Out Of Your Seat And Enjoy The Best NBA Bench Reactions Of 2012-13 |With Leather|

The ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Gameplay Video Is Here! |Gamma Squad|

10 Songs Swizz Beatz Almost Ruined But Didn’t |Smoking Section|

Bills Mafia Jersey Patches Are A Thing |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Great Moments in Drunk Television |Vulture|

10 Movies With Mind-Boggling Miniature Effects |Mental Floss|

10 Songs You Can’t Even Believe Are 10 Years Old |Rolling Stone|

7 Things That Still Bother Me About the Mighty Ducks Trilogy |College Humor|

A Guide to Getting a Guy to Text You the Morning After, By America’s Favorite Sorority Girl |BroBible|

Grading the Top 10 BBC Asian Downloads |Grantland|

6 Games That Put Insane Detail Into Stuff You Didn’t Notice |Cracked|

The 13 Most Enjoyably Weird Places You Can Encounter The Cast Of “Justified” |Pajiba|

Neglected and Hoarded Ducks Take Their First Swim After Being Rescued |The Chive|

Selena Gomez Has a Leaked Song, Contains a Justin Bieber Voicemail |IDLYITW|

Kanye West Digitized His Penis, Unreduced by Rick Rubin ;) |The Superficial|

The 6 Best Beers of Summer |Made Man|

This David Hasselhoff Advertisement for Iced Coffee For Iced Coffee Is Nuts |Videogum|