Comments of the Week

03.28.11 7 years ago 36 Comments

It seems like it’s been a while since a newbie commenter took home CotW honors, but this week is proof that it can be done.  And for that, he/she will receive a brand-new FilmDrunk shirt (provided he/she isn’t an XL.  I’m out of those again. Sorry.).

In any case, BASK IN THINE TRIUMPH, JAMMALMX1!  God, that is a horrible screen name.  I’ve half a mind to give this to someone else.  Nonetheless, I had to give it up for this guy or gal for finding the semi-obvious joke that I missed in the Steven Seagal Brings a Tank to a Cock Fight post:

jammalamx1 says: The NY Post’s headline: SEAGAL BUSTS JESUS’ COCK RING.

Well put, true, and succinct.  It could not be denied.  Email me to collect your well-earned shirt or other prize as yet to be named, jamma.

Honorable mentions after the jump.

Chino Moreno says: I once got finger banged by Jesus. Things got a little awkward when I started yelling out his dad’s name.

Oh, Chino.  Of all the drunkettes, she works the most blue.  We like that.

From RIP Elizabeth Taylor:

Deux Deux Deux says: Liz Taylor personified “sexy” back in a simpler era – when you didn’t have to tie a belt around your neck and be insulted by ladyboys while urinating on a teenager to have pizazz.

essequemodeia [with the set up] says: I wish she had done something in my lifetime to make me give a sh-t and all.

Deux Deux Deux says: Oh, quemo, she did plenty. She was a cruel and petty woman, quick to anger, slow to calm. Now we are free, free from the oppressive yoke of that violet-eyed harpy.

Oh, Drunkards, nothing like death to bring out the best in you.

From Find the Easiest Joke in the New Poster for Jodie Foster’s Beaver:

Mel Gibson’s Beaver Puppet says: I HOLD WATER BACK BY MAKING DAMS!!!!!!!!!! JODIE FOSTER DOES IT BY PUTTING HER FINGERS IN DYKES!!!!!!!!!!!

God, I love you, Mel Gibson’s Beaver Puppet.  Can you comment on every post?

From Jim is a YouTube Star in the New American Pie:

DangerGuerrero says: YOU CAN’T UPLOAD BOOBS ON YOUTUBE TRUST ME I’VE TRI-… uh, I mean… … f-ck it. This movie rests on a bed of lies.

That’s why he works here (among other, far less complimentary reasons).

From Paul WS Anderson’s Trailer for The 3D Musketeers:

Asher says: LET THY BODIES HIT THINE FLOOR… TICK TICK TICK…COURTESANS!

A callback to my joke using old-timey language?  I’ll allow it.

And finally, getting in just under the wire, from my review of Sucker Punch:

Nathan Implosion: When the best thing you can say about a movie is “it couldn’t be kiddie porn, it didn’t make enough sense,” you’re in trouble.

Thanks for another witty week, y’all.  I promise to do my best to match coarse joke with coarse joke.  And to the non-witty commenters, don’t feel like you can’t contribute if you don’t have anything funny to say.  We also appreciate the less-humorous comments, as long as they’re reeeeeeally anti-Semitic.  Just kidding.  Maybe.

As always, nominate for next week’s comments of the week by copy and pasting your favorite comments in the comments section below.

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