It seems like it’s been a while since a newbie commenter took home CotW honors, but this week is proof that it can be done. And for that, he/she will receive a brand-new FilmDrunk shirt (provided he/she isn’t an XL. I’m out of those again. Sorry.).
In any case, BASK IN THINE TRIUMPH, JAMMALMX1! God, that is a horrible screen name. I’ve half a mind to give this to someone else. Nonetheless, I had to give it up for this guy or gal for finding the semi-obvious joke that I missed in the Steven Seagal Brings a Tank to a Cock Fight post:
jammalamx1 says: The NY Post’s headline: SEAGAL BUSTS JESUS’ COCK RING.
Well put, true, and succinct. It could not be denied. Email me to collect your well-earned shirt or other prize as yet to be named, jamma.
Honorable mentions after the jump.
Chino Moreno says: I once got finger banged by Jesus. Things got a little awkward when I started yelling out his dad’s name.
Oh, Chino. Of all the drunkettes, she works the most blue. We like that.
From RIP Elizabeth Taylor:
Deux Deux Deux says: Liz Taylor personified “sexy” back in a simpler era – when you didn’t have to tie a belt around your neck and be insulted by ladyboys while urinating on a teenager to have pizazz.
essequemodeia [with the set up] says: I wish she had done something in my lifetime to make me give a sh-t and all.
Deux Deux Deux says: Oh, quemo, she did plenty. She was a cruel and petty woman, quick to anger, slow to calm. Now we are free, free from the oppressive yoke of that violet-eyed harpy.
Oh, Drunkards, nothing like death to bring out the best in you.
Mel Gibson’s Beaver Puppet says: I HOLD WATER BACK BY MAKING DAMS!!!!!!!!!! JODIE FOSTER DOES IT BY PUTTING HER FINGERS IN DYKES!!!!!!!!!!!
God, I love you, Mel Gibson’s Beaver Puppet. Can you comment on every post?
DangerGuerrero says: YOU CAN’T UPLOAD BOOBS ON YOUTUBE TRUST ME I’VE TRI-… uh, I mean… … f-ck it. This movie rests on a bed of lies.
That’s why he works here (among other, far less complimentary reasons).
Asher says: LET THY BODIES HIT THINE FLOOR… TICK TICK TICK…COURTESANS!
A callback to my joke using old-timey language? I’ll allow it.
And finally, getting in just under the wire, from my review of Sucker Punch:
Nathan Implosion: When the best thing you can say about a movie is “it couldn’t be kiddie porn, it didn’t make enough sense,” you’re in trouble.
Thanks for another witty week, y’all. I promise to do my best to match coarse joke with coarse joke. And to the non-witty commenters, don’t feel like you can’t contribute if you don’t have anything funny to say. We also appreciate the less-humorous comments, as long as they’re reeeeeeally anti-Semitic. Just kidding. Maybe.
As always, nominate for next week’s comments of the week by copy and pasting your favorite comments in the comments section below.