Corey Feldman clarifies that Michael Jackson was the only adult who *didn’t* molest him

In some ways, the modern celebrity memoir tour has almost done a disservice to abuse victims. Even if every celebrity memoirist is telling the 100 percent truth, the sex and drug abuse revelations have become such a standard part of any book written by a fading celebrity that it’s hard not to become desensitized. When everyone from Sugar Ray Leonard to Marcia Brady is talking about “hitting rock bottom,” rock bottom starts to feel strangely rote. On that note, Corey Feldman, back in the headlines of late thanks to his super-legit birthday parties, has a new book coming out, the awesomely named “Coreyography,” and as you can probably imagine, it sounds like it’s going to be a horror show. Weird, child actors usually have such great parents.

As his star began to rise in hit movies like “Stand By Me,” “The Lost Boys,” “Gremlins” and “The Goonies” — Feldman had no guidance or support from his parents. His mother — a former Playboy model who suffered from depression and drug problems — tortured her son about his weight and, at one point, force-fed him diet pills. He says his father was a musician who routinely encouraged Feldman to get high with him.

By age 7, Feldman was a successful commercial actor and the main breadwinner of the family. His mother forbade him from riding a bike, saying he couldn’t afford to get injured. At work, Feldman started acting out and earning a reputation as a brat. When he was fired from a movie, she chased after him with a stick, screaming obscenities.

His father hired an assistant in his early 20s who Feldman calls “Ron.” The two became inseparable, with Ron providing Feldman with various drugs and eventually coercing him into sex.  Feldman says he was “petrified,” and “revolted” the first time Ron abused him, but their twisted friendship lasted for years.

Ron wasn’t the only pedophile Feldman encountered in his search for stable adult relationships. “Slowly, over a period of many years,” he writes, “I would begin to realize that many of the people I had surrounded myself with were monsters.”

One person he felt safe with was Michael Jackson. He calls the singer’s world his “happy place” and said Jackson brought him back to his innocence. Feldman says Jackson never touched him sexually or even attempted to during their friendship. Their relationship ended abruptly in 2001, when Jackson heard a rumor that Feldman was planning to trash him in a book. Although Feldman tried to convince Jackson the rumor wasn’t true, Jackson shut him out, and they never spoke again. [FoxNews]

There truly is no better way to say “I had a f*cked up childhood” than “I only felt safe with Michael Jackson.” I’ll keep saying this until someone listens, but every child role should be played by an adult actor. They’re unsafe at any age. A former child actor floating through society is worse than a loaded gun, and I’d rather watch Daniel Day-Lewis in a propeller beanie in a movie than some snot-nosed milk baby anyway.

Also, it doesn’t say so in the article, but one thing I hope to learn from Corey Feldman’s memoir is why projecting “bad boy” so often means “mini fedora.” Every mini fedora should come with a free counseling session, lest we end up with an unsustainable surplus of club promoters.

The above picture of Feldman, incidentally (with “actress Catherine Annette”), was taken at an event called “Get Lucky for Lupus.” Oh, LA.

(pics via Getty Images)