The Nic Cage-starring, Kevin Smith/Tim Burton-made Superman Film That Never Was

If this isn’t your first time on the internet, chances are you’ve come across at some point the picture of a stoned-ass Nic Cage wearing a Superman suit over his pooka necklace, or that video of Kevin Smith talking about the time a producer Jon Peters wanted him to write a Superman with three conditions: I don’t wanna see him fly, he doesn’t wear that f*cking suit, and he has to fight a giant spider in the third act. Incredibly, that Nic Cage picture isn’t is Photoshopped, and but (sorry, I’m retarded, here’s a couple real ones) Kevin Smith wasn’t making the story up (which you know because no one argues about blow jobs or Star Wars). It was all for movie project that never quite got off the ground, Superman Lives, written by Kevin Smith, directed by Tim Burton, and starring Nic Cage. It’s all so beautifully batshit that one man – Jon Schnepp –  has taken to kickstarter to raise money for a documentary about it, called “The Death of Superman Lives.”

I’ve been interested in this film since it was first announced back in the late 90’s. Nicolas Cage was announced as Superman, Kevin Smith was announced as the Writer, Tim Burton was announced as the Director, and fans have had very heavy opinions, both positive and negative, on all of this. As news slowly bubbled out, news buzzed around about Rainbow Robot Outfits, Brainiac Skull ships, Superman not “flying”, Fighting a Giant Spider, Polar Bears guarding the Fortress of Solitude. [KickStarter]

They say their “stretch goal” is to use the original FX crew to actually produce some of the original scenes. They’ve already raised $40 grand. My hope is that they raise enough to actually hire Nic Cage. Hell, I’d settle for video of Nic Cage walking through his house talking about his snake venom and dinosaur skulls in his Superman voice. Actually, considering he did name his son after Superman, I’m not convinced he hasn’t been in character this entire time.

Movieline found a video of the original Superman Lives suit. It basically looks like if dub-step was clothes.