At long last, we have a new trailer for John Singleton’s Abduction, starring Taylor Lautner as a younger, more llama-like version of Jason Bourne (MORE LIKE ABS-DUCTION, LOL!). Oh. My. God. You guys. This acting. It makes Paul Walker look like Cam Gigandet. With the dead-behind-the-eyes charm of Tom Cruise. But you know, some movies aren’t about acting. Some movies are more about super fake-looking spinny ballerina kicks. Jesus, are they letting him do his own stunts in this too? Seriously, this isn’t a real movie, is it? HAHA, VERY FUNNY, LIONSGATE, THE TWILIGHT KID IS A HIGHLY-TRAINED HIGH SCHOOL ASSASSIN.There’s no way this is real. I think John Singleton lost a bet.