Happy Friday, Here's The New 'Scary Movie 5' Trailer And Poster

I was going to do something a little uncharacteristic and pay Scary Movie 5 a compliment based on the new trailer. As I was watching it, I started to think, “Hey, at least it kind of seems like these guys are trying to get back to the definition of parody, unlike dipsh*ts like Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, whose idea of parody is a Paris Hilton clone saying, ‘That’s hot.’” Then five seconds into the trailer, the black guy started stealing stuff and I just said, “Oh f*ck this.”

Meanwhile, this latest installment in the franchise that hasn’t provoked an intelligent laugh in 12 years, appears to be content with just going through the motions of cheap pop culture references (“It’s Honey Boo-Boo!”) and smug celebrity self-awareness. Charlie Sheen looking into the camera and saying, “I’ve come back from worse” is like Nordberg telling Frank Drebin, “I’ll take a stab at it” and then winking at the camera. Fortunately, the Zucker Bros. relied on good comedy writing.

But look at me being all negative, when I promised y’all a trailer and a poster. Maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did.