Headline of the Day: 'Attorney Challenged Woman to Naked Sword Duel'

Before you ask, yes, of course it happened in Florida. A defense attorney from Titusville was arrested last week after he challenged his girlfriend to a naked sword duel. Which is strange, as I’ve always thought you needed at least two men for a naked sword duel. Burnsy’s going to be so bummed.

Terry Lee Locy, 36, faces counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and domestic violence battery. The assault charge is a third-degree felony punishable by five years in prison.
According to an arrest affidavit, Locy and his live-in girlfriend were arguing early Wednesday morning about his “drinking in excess.” Locy then grabbed a mirror off a door and “raised it up as if he was attempting to strike” her, Agent Pamela Hibbs of the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office wrote in the affidavit.

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, please convince this bitch to stop nagging me. Whatever, I’m not even drunk.”

That’s when the girlfriend grabbed the hook that the mirror had been hanging on and flung it toward Locy, who suffered a cut to his head.

Clever girl.

After showering, a nude Locy handed a sheathed sword to his girlfriend and said, “You’re going to need this,” the court document states.

That is the most gangster move of all time. Please tell me he slapped her with a glove.

Locy then retrieved a larger sword, pulled it from the sheath and told her, “I’m going to kill you,” the affidavit says.
Hibbs wrote that after the woman tried to run away, he “slammed” her onto the living room couch, where he punched her several times. She managed to free herself and call 9-1-1.
The girlfriend told investigators that Locy left the house with the sword. He was still naked.

Important detail. This reporter is a pro.

He was arrested Thursday at Cape Canaveral Hospital in Cocoa Beach.
He was released from the Brevard County Detention Center on Friday afternoon and was ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation.
Locy, who has offices in Rockledge, has represented clients in murder trials and in a 2009 case in which a man was convicted of robbing a credit union and hiding the stolen cash in his prosthetic leg. [FloridaToday]

The naked sword dueler once represented a peg-leg robber? An EVEN MORE IMPORTANT DETAIL! I’m surprised they couldn’t work that into the headline. “AMPUTEE’S LAWYER ARRESTED FOR DUELING NAKED.” I also think the original headline is more interesting if you add a hyphen. “Attorney-challenged woman to naked sword duel.” That way, it implies that because the woman could not find an attorney, she will now be forced to naked sword duel. I want to live in that world.