Hippie Vegan Bros Love Produce, Positivity, and You

Unless you’ve passed out from the patchouli wafting through your screen, enjoy what is perhaps the strangest combination of ultra-white stereotypes in America. If these bros were into horseback riding I think I would fall to pieces. This is Chef Seth a.k.a. illtext and his bandmate Pa-chow a.k.a. the guest on today’s episode of The Chef Seth Show. Don’t let the portrait framing fool you. These mofos know a thing or two about produce, or should I say:

• granny smiths

• trail mix

• goj bears

• pistasches

• cacao nibbies

• sundried somethin’

• rays, keep it good [raisins]

• veggie sammies with the avo

• blueberries (are in season right now too and they’re Daaank)

• açai

• pomegrandler™*

“We’re talking ’bout salad, I’m talking ’bout spinach, I’m talking ’bout romaine, gimme that kale. I want some carrots, I want extra beets, please! If it tastes like dirt—

“Some purple cabbage up in there for flair.”

“—you know it’s good.”

My first reaction was to put a beat behind this list of abbreviated produce. My second reaction was to make fun of these guys. As Vince described them, “they’re like if Chet Haze and Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop mated, and formed this hippie vegan Juggalo.” Despite my distaste for hippies vegans, and Chet Haze, Seth and Pa-chow seem great. They’ve won me over with their Juggalo-like warmth. The video starts with “peace and blessings!” and ends with “thank you once again for loving yourself.” What more could you want in friends? They’re hella chill, hella sincere, hella real people.

*Trademark Pa-chow, because when you Google “pomegrandler” you get nothing but these videos.

Via the Illtext channel.

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