Disney’s Storyless Ride ‘It’s A Small World’ Is Coming To The Big Screen

Yesterday reportedly marked the 50th anniversary of the creation of the Disney theme park ride “It’s a Small World,” so it was undoubtedly a banner day for people who love to wait in line for an hour to go on a ride that makes them feel like they’re waiting in line for another 15 minutes. To celebrate such a milestone, Disney decided that it’s time to make a movie based on It’s a Small World, but I think that it’s less about the legacy of a boring ride and more that an executive was walking through Disney World and thought, “Hey, why haven’t we made $500 million off of this ride yet?”

While there’s no story or real idea behind It’s a Small World – other than kids are the same everywhere, no matter how terrible their stereotypes may be – Disney won’t be deterred from turning it into a new franchise, and so the studio has hired Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure, Last Vegas) to direct. Again, there’s really no story to tell from this ride, but I have faith that Turteltaub will not only be able to find a cheesy angle to explore, but it will also make us cringe and ask of the film the same thing we ask about the ride: “How the f*ck did this thing get made?”