It's Time To Take A Break, Channing Tatum

Yesterday morning, around 6:45 EST, Channing Tatum participated in a Twitter Q&A with the UK’s Glamour Magazine. Among the things that Glamour readers asked and Tatum responded to were: if he’d play Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey (“Yes, but only if my wife was Ana”), the funniest moment while filming Magic Mike (Matthew McConaughey’s dance), the film’s most talented stripper (toss-up between McConaughey and Joe Manganiello), and perhaps the biggest question of them all…

Q: How about Magic Mike 2?

No. Please say no, Channing. Please. For the love of everything. Just say no.

C: “Yes, yes and yes! We’re working on the concept now. We want to flip the script and make it bigger.”

Look, I know that Vince pulled back the curtain a few weeks ago and talked about how we both have this respect for Tatum now after we’ve spent so much time making fun of him. And it’s totally true – this site has been overwhelmingly C-Tatey lately. I once thought he was the biggest mouth-breathing dolt and example of everything that was wrong with Hollywood casting, but between 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike, the guy has proven that he is more than just a slab of dancing beef.

But that’s where the problem begins. C-Tates has become immensely popular and successful in a short amount of time, and he’s acting, writing, producing, and eventually directing as a result. That’s fantastic, we’re legitimately proud of him. However, he’s like the high school kid who gains popularity because he had one or two cool parties. He could ride that wave and continue to throw occasional successful parties and remain popular. Or he could overdo it, make reckless decisions and keep having party after party until his house is destroyed and he never has another party again.

A sequel to 21 Jump Street is fine, because the first film left the door open for that. Plus, it was funny and featured a great ensemble performance. Magic Mike, though? There’s no need for a sequel. The original was a fantastic film, and you could argue that the door was left open, but just leave it open. So what if the ending wasn’t happy? It’s better that way. It’s real.

We don’t want to see what happens to Dallas, Big Dick Richie, and The Kid in Miami. We don’t want to know how many coffee tables Mike sells with the help of his bland girlfriend. We don’t need to know. Just let it be, C-Tates. Always leave the audience wanting more. Stripping should have taught you that.