Justin Bieber is obsessed with the 1996 Mark Wahlberg film ‘Fear’

Before Mark Wahlberg was a movie star, he was a juvenile delinquent who beat old Vietnamese men with sticks and It all would’ve worked out too, if only she hadn’t caught him raping that slut Alyssa Milano. That’s when she dumped him and he got mad and cut off her dog’s head, and the guy from CSI had to throw him him off a roof. (Sorry, you have no idea how long I’ve been dying to post that synopsis).

Well it seems Justin Bieber is obsessed with the film, which means it isn’t just making young girls squeal that we have in common. (Me more for hygiene reasons).

Our source would like to remain anonymous for now, as he is still working next to the singer, but we’ve been told that Bieber has been mulling over a number of feature ideas, and he is looking to build off the career model of Mark Wahlberg. And its Marky Mark’s dark R-rated thriller Fear that has caught the attention of Justin Bieber.

There are currently no plans to remake Fear, released by Universal Pictures in 1996. But Justin Bieber is rumored to be obsessed with the movie… Justin Bieber is said to be eyeing the role in a proposed remake, hoping that it will give his image and career the same edge it gave Mark Wahlberg back in 1996. [Movieweb]

The problem is, Justin Bieber is a goofy Canadian with a Jesus tattoo and lesbian hair, and Mark Wahlberg was basically playing himself. Mark Wahlberg didn’t get his edge from a movie, he got it the old fashioned way, by beating up gooks. Drawing a direct tattoo parallel, if Bieber were to draw from his own personal life, the girl would have to be played by… well, Jesus.

I wouldn’t mind seeing the rollercoaster scene recut with a Bieber song though.

I’ll leave the obvious joke here for you guys.