Nikki Finke threatened to “destroy” Bret Easton Ellis

Nikki Finke’s king news without shouting TOLDJA TOLDJA TOLDJA in the headline to show how great she is. She’s also notoriously private (the only known photo of her is that soft-focus glamour shot that’s been on her site for at least five years). Which is probably why people thought it was kind of funny when Bret Easton Ellis tweeted that he’d discovered that they live in the same building in West Hollywood.

Nikki herself, meanwhile, didn’t find it as amusing, which is odd because she’s always seemed like  such a sweet, level-headed lady, with such a great sense of humor about herself.

ZING! (I think?) Hmm, I’ll let the Observer explain:

ICM: International Creative Management, the monolithic agency whose Amanda “Binky” Urban has been Ellis’ longtime book agent (who also made a brief appearance as part of the plot of Ellis’ novel Lunar Park). And from what The Observer hears, Mr. Ellis’ claim that Ms. Finke rang up ICM (and basically threatened to wring them dry) is true.

A few folks who got word of what happened tell us: Ms. Finke rang Binky Urban’s office, and not being able to reach the agent, gave her assistant what was characterized to us as an epic, otherworldly screaming-at, the likes of which the assistant had never previously experienced.

“HOW DARE YOU REVEAL THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE I LIVE WITH 35,000 OTHER PEOPLE! Why, armed with that information, people could… uh… make more accurate jokes about me.” Also, I like the idea of a heated argument between people called “Nikki Finke” and “Binky Urban.” The silly names, the heated workplace arguments between white people, the constant air of inflated self-importance – this is one smashed Blackberry away from being an Aaron Sorkin script (okay, two smashed Blackberries). I wonder if Nikki ever threatened to take over ICM and turn Binky’s office into her ping pong room. (I hear Nikki stashes the balls in her greasy twat).

Or, as Bret Easton Ellis put it:

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy Bret Easton Ellis?