Nobody Wanted To Watch ‘New Year’s Eve’

12.12.11 6 years ago 13 Comments

It's funny because you can just never get a taxi in New York City!

This weekend marked the worst overall box office gross since September 19, 2008, as Americans only spent $67.8 million to see such instant classics like New Year’s Eve, The Sitter and some other movies that you’ll never see. Despite finishing first with $13.7 million in revenue, the biggest flop was New Year’s Eve, the insulting holiday collaboration produced by Satan [*cough* AL-QAEDA RECRUITMENT VIDEO! *cough, cough* -Vince]. The film cost $56 million to make, and I apologize if that just cause a vein to explode in your head.

And if you’re upset that New Year’s Eve still made almost $14 million, you can place the blame on women.

The movie, directed by Garry Marshall, stars Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Robert De Niro, Halle Berry, Seth Meyers, Alyssa Milano, Jessica Biel and others. Women saw the movie in far higher numbers than men. Fellman said 70 percent of the audience was made up of women.

It is a follow-up to Marshall’s 2010 hit “Valentine’s Day,” which also featured big stars in short vignettes and went on to gross $216.5 million on a $52 million budget. (Via Yahoo!)

On one hand, I’m sort of proud that moviegoers learned from their past mistake of paying to see Valentine’s Day. But on the other hand, I’m concerned that 30% of the people who saw this film were men. I’ll hold out hope that the majority of men who saw this were being punished by their wives and girlfriends for dropping a grand at a strip club on Friday night, because that’s about the only excuse I’ll accept.

More than anything, we should hope that Garry Marshall quits it with these ensemble chick flicks that try to make us believe that holidays can still be magical. If we’re lucky, maybe his next project will be called Thanksgiving, and the entire cast gets trampled to death at a Target the next day. Or at least he can make Saturday Night Live’s The Apocalypse. [It would’ve done better if they’d taken my suggestion about replacing the cast with Terrence Howard in different hats. -Vince]

This Wk Last Wk Title Dist. Weekend Gross Cumulative
# of
1 New Year’s Eve Warner Bros. Pictures $13,705,000 $13,705,000 1 3505
2 The Sitter 20th Century Fox Distribution $10,000,000 $10,000,000 1 2750
3 1 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Summit Entertainment, LLC $7,900,000 $259,483,267 4 3604
4 2 The Muppets Walt Disney Pictures $7,100,000 $65,800,000 3 3328
5 4 Arthur Christmas Sony Pictures Releasing $6,600,000 $33,490,000 3 3272
6 5 Hugo Paramount Pictures $6,125,000 $33,489,000 3 2608
7 9 The Descendants Fox Searchlight Pictures $4,385,000 $23,635,423 4 876
8 3 Happy Feet Two Warner Bros. Pictures $3,750,000 $56,850,000 4 2840
9 6 Jack and Jill Sony Pictures Releasing $3,200,000 $68,647,000 5 2787
10 7 Immortals Relativity Media $2,442,000 $79,849,505 5 2299

[Chart via Yahoo]

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