Of Course There's A 'Scary Movie 5' And Of Course It Might Star Lindsay Lohan

Last week, an old friend of mine posted on his Facebook account that he got a role in the upcoming Paranormal Movie. I thought, “That’s odd, I don’t have much of a life so I usually pay attention to these terrible new spoof movies every time they pop up, because I hate them and they’ve destroyed a once fantastic film genre.” Plus, I knew there were already at least two Paranormal Activity spoofs – Paranormal Parody and Paranormal Whacktivity – so I thought maybe he was confused. But sure enough, Marlon Wayans is returning to the spoof well with his own Paranormal Activity spoof.

Then the news came out that Lindsay Lohan is in talks to join Ashley Tisdale in Scary Movie 5, and I wondered if maybe those are the same movies, and of course they’re not. Again, we’ve got two similar ideas coming out at the same time, because screw you, that’s why.

As for Lohan, is this a case of a grateful young actress looking to climb her way back to relevance by taking any role she can get and treating it with respect and gratitude? Nah.

They say three is a trend, and Lindsay Lohan may have just notched her third major acting role. The embattled actress looks to put court appearances and stumbling out of nightclubs behind her with a turn in “Scary Movie 5,” a film The Wrap reports she is in talks to join.

Though E! reports that no offer has been made, the move would be a good sign for the starlet’s career. (Via HuffPo)

Normally, this is where I’d mock the idea that this horrible film would be a good sign, but considering the first four films have combined to gross more than $428 million and Charlie Sheen’s reemergence into pop culture was certainly boosted by his starring role in Scary Movie 3, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of Lohan getting her own CBS sitcom and an endorsement for Golden Corral as a result.

In summary, Aaron Seltzer’s and Jason Friedberg’s funniest joke continues to be the whoopee cushion they’ve placed under the ass of society.

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