Oh Jesus. Joel Schumacher directed a Nic Cage movie.

Joel Schumacher, the man who put nipples on the bat suit, is back, coming off a film which rated 4% on Rottentomatoes and earned less than a million dollars (and before that was The Number 23, which rated 8%).  But he’s got a surefire plan to resurrect his career: NIC CAGE! In Trespass, whose trailer is below, Cage and Nicole Kidman play a rich couple whose house gets invaded by robbers like in Panic Room, but then some other stuff happens to make it different probably. And then Nic Cage is all, “If it’s money you’re after, I can tell you that I have none. What I do have is a big weird forehead and grating voice that make me a nightmare for people like you, people with eyes and ears.”

And just when you think it couldn’t get any better, wait, who’s that behind the robber mask? CAM MOTHERF*CKING GIGANDET!

Joel Schumacher, Nic Cage, Nicole Kidman, and Cam Gigandet?? Holy sh*t, what’s next, Evan Stone and Ke$ha sing a duet of Maroon 5 songs? This looks like it was financed by my personal nightmare gypsy.