Two Positive Reviews Raised ‘Paul Blart 2’s Perfect 0% RottenTomatoes Rating To A Triumphant 4%

Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 had been pitching a perfect Bucky Larson all the way through its opening weekend last weekend, with 38 straight negative reviews last time we checked. But as a wise man once told me, nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain. And Simon Weaving of Screenwize, followed two days later by Jim Schembri of New York’s 693 News Talk, both know hearts can change.

So pour out a coffee can filled with farts as we mourn Paul Blart 2‘s perfect 0%. These two positive reviews out of 47 counted raised BLART2’s rating from a history-making 0% to an about-average-for-a-Seltzer-Friedberg-movie 4%.

WEAVING: …the sequel may be utterly predictable and play blatantly on stereotypes and well-worn gags, but there’s something amiable and engaging about the character of Paul Blart – a kind of action-cop version of Homer Simpson.

The mindlessly silly plot and it’s [sic] glitzy location are no more than an excuse for James to play out his affable brand of humour – mixing physical slapstick with a verbose running commentary of both grandiose and self-depreciating [sic?] observations on life and himself. The funniest sketch for me was a completely unnecessary scene in which Blart is repeatedly attacked by a crowned-crane in a secluded outdoor piano bar.

SCHEMBRI: …a perfectly congenial, innocuous goofball comedy. It’s not as funny as the first film, but it is funny enough.

As decent, modest and unassuming as this chuckle-worthy little film is it has, for some reason, become subject to some of the most vitriolic reviews in recent memory. Reading over a sampling of them, it is difficult to figure out why. At least audiences seem to like Blart’s latest adventure, if the box office is any guide.

There you have it, folks, “the other critics were too mean” and “the bird fight was funny.” I couldn’t tell you for certain whether they’re wrong, because PBMC2 didn’t screen for critics and I declined to go see it. Ultimately I think I’m on the right side of history here.

For the record, Jim Schembri was also the one critic out of 70 counted who gave Seltzer-Friedberg’s Disaster Movie a positive rating, awarding it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

What else is there to say? If you liked Meet the Spartans you’ll like the latest reference-laden spoof from writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

Virtually no one liked Meet the Spartans, so that is some extremely qualified praise. Here are the first four top critic blurbs for that, in order (I did not cherry pick these):

“The result in Meet the Spartans is less classic Mel Brooks than middling Best Week Ever. ” -Clark Collis, EW

“This was the worst movie I’ve ever seen, so bad that I hesitate to label it a ‘movie’ and thus reflect shame upon the entire medium of film.” -Josh Levin

“I’m moving to Europe.”-Aaron Hillis, Village Voice

“It’s so bad even Carmen Electra should be embarrassed. ” -Adam Graham, Detroit News

Reading these old Seltzer-Friedberg reviews, you realize Paul Blart still has a ways to go.