Suddenly, Channing Tatum Feels So Unwanted

Senior Writer
10.27.11 13 Comments

Despite being a potentially self-loathing homophobic girlfriend-beating rage-a-holic, Chris Brown is adored by millions of teenage girls and therefore will always have work in the music and movie industries. His latest acting project is Planet B Boy, which to the ignorant ear sounds like it’s about to give “Homeboys in Outer Space” a run for its money.

Of course it’s actually about competitive street dancing, because we need more of that.

Based on a documentary of the same, the film follows a crew of American street dancers as they train to compete in France’s Battle of the Year International Championships. Benson Lee, who directed the Planet B-Boy documentary, will also helm its fictional adaptation. The film also stars Laz Alonso, Josh Peck, and Caity Lotz.

(Via Entertainment Weekly)

Fun fact: I don’t know who any of those people are. For all I know, they were created by a Hollywood name generator and the identities were given to three kids straight out of a Barbizon school. But the film will co-star Josh Holloway of “Lost” fame, which led me to wonder, “Why no C-Tates?”

So I reached out to FilmDrunk’s favorite and the world’s original B Boy, Channing Tatum, to ask why he’s not in this movie and his thoughts on men who beat women.

Yo homeboys and boos, lil chicken headz of all ages, C-TATES IN DA MUTHA F*CKIN’ HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZOUSE, SON WHAT! Yo so dis Chris Brown beeyotch be all like, Yo C-Tates, I’mma B Boy an sh*t, right? F*ck dat, son. You ask yo self, Wut can Brown do 4 u? He ain’t do dis…

*Harlem shuffles*

An he ain’t do dis…

*pops and locks*

An he sure as sh*t don’t do dis…

*does the robot*

U see, boo? C-Tates ain’t need 2 go 2 no Planet B Boy. C-Tates is planet B Boy, son. HOLLA! Yo girl, I’m like, Dis be 1 small hot step 4 man, but dis be like one big c-walk 4 mankind, right? And yo girl, C-Tate ain’t hit no boo. He kiss yo boo boo, feel? Much love 2 my momma and my boo JD1, respek.

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