The Point Break Remake Has A Director Now

Director and possible Sony smart phone Ericson Core (Invincible) has been tabbed by Alcon Entertainment to direct the remake of Kathryn Bigelow’s 1991 part-time bank robbers/full-time surfers action drama Point Break. According to Alcon – yes, the very same Alcon that brought us Joyful Noise and The Wicker Man – this new take on the classic tale of a former college football star turning to law enforcement to infiltrate and take down a team of surfing skydivers who rob banks to fund their free-wheeling lifestyles is to remain in our radical wheelhouses, you righteous bros.

The new version of the film is set in the world of international extreme sports, and like the original involves an undercover FBI agent infiltrating a criminal ring. The filmmakers are keeping other plot points under wraps.

Known for his cinematography work on the box office success “The Fast and the Furious” for Universal Pictures and “Daredevil” for 20th Century Fox, Core made his directorial debut with Disney’s “Invincible” starring Mark Wahlberg.

So it’s basically xXx meets, um, Point Break. Whatever. I’m not going to be that guy who freaks out and acts all indignant that yet another “classic” film is being dug up and violated by uncreative Hollywood suits who are just looking to make a quick score at the box office by trampling the name of something we love, while knowing that we’ll bite and fork over our cash because we’re all soulless monkeys, conditioned to stare at the giant flashy screen because, “LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY COLORS!”

No way, I’m not going to be that incoherent, babbling A-hole. Instead, I’m going to ask the most important questions about Point Break that no one has been brave enough to ask.

Can you really recreate Gary Busey eating a sandwich?

No. You can’t. And can you recreate that weird head shaking face thing that Anthony Kiedis does?

No. You can’t. And can you recreate this majestic hair?

No. You can’t. But Core and Alcon will try anyway. Vaya con dios, bros.