This Week In Netflix And Streaming: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Netflix Availability!

Netflix Streamer of the Week

All is Lost
I’ll never watch it again, but that doesn’t make it less of a movie. Redford is masterful in this, doing things with his body at the ripe old age of 70 that I can’t even do now. It’s also a remarkable look at the cruel mistress that is the sea. The sea gets angry some days, just think about George Clooney in that one movie. What would compel someone to head out on a sailboat in the deep blue water is lost on me, but then again I’m just some schmo who writes Internet columns. Not a lot of courage over here. Mostly jelly-filled donuts.

Streamability: Very good, though also very deliberate and quiet. [Editor’s Note: The alternate title is “Rob Dies At The End.”]

Top Netflix Curio of the Week
Who Is Dayani Cristal?
I don’t know who Dayani Cristal is … and that’s precisely what worries me because I make it my primary business to at least know who various people are. I could make you a really solid list of the people I’ve heard of. Anyway, here’s what the synopsis says:

In the oppressive desert heat, Arizona authorities find a man’s decomposing body with only one clue to his identity: a tattoo reading “Dayani Cristal.” Gael García Bernal portrays the unknown man in dramatic segments of this intriguing documentary.

Sounds intriguing doesn’t it? It says so right there. Anyway, if any of you find out who this guy is let us know and save us all the time. Overall, it’s slightly odd to have Mr. Garcia Bernal playing a dude in a docu, especially for the “dramatic” segments.

Streamability: Erm, maybe? Do you like mystery novels? Sue Grafton FTW?

Top Netflix Throwback of the Week
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
At the time, who would have guessed “whoa” would have followed Keanu Reeves and the other guy would be forgotten along with the past ghosts of Oates and Garfunkel? Not me. But I was out of it back then, hopped up on carbs and that amazing purple Mountain Dew they only released for one summer. People loved this movie at the time, but I’m not totally sure it’s held up. After all, there aren’t even phone booths anymore.

[Editor’s Note: Don’t worry, dudes, Laremy has already been melvined for suggesting this.]

Streamability: Nostalgia! But no, probably not.

Socially Conscious Netflix Streamer of the Week
A Single Man
There’s a lot of art to this piece, probably because it was directed by Tom Ford, who would go on to be name-checked in a Jay-Z song. Hova! This is another one that can be a bit like eating your vegetables, but it looks just dandy. Hopefully you’ve got a connection hooked up to the big screen, I probably wouldn’t guzzle this on a laptop.

Streamability: Maybe to be happy you don’t lead a life of quiet desperation. Unless you do.

[Editor’s Note: Tom Ford says men should never wear shorts, so he can eat sh*t. I’ll wear shorts every damn day of Summer and flip Tom Ford the bird with both hands while I’m doing it.]

Top Paid Streamer of the Week
Captain America: Winter Soldier ($4.99, GooglePlay)
At the time, I remember thinking it wasn’t God awful (which is a weird term if you stop to think about it). My only problem was 1) Where was Iron Man? and 2) What was up with the name “Bucky”? Even in the 1830’s, when the movie is initially set, no one was named “Bucky”. We’re just being silly now. However, if you didn’t see it, it’s probably worth a little watcheroo, because it’s Marvel, and the entertainment value isn’t a nightmare. You’ve got Scarlett Johansson running around in tight leather (as opposed to loose I guess). It could have been way worse. Man, I’ve just given this film nothing but backhanded compliments. I feel a little guilty, I never meant to use the back of my hand on a movie.

Streamability: If you haven’t seen, sure. If you have, why bother?

The Bad, The Bad, and the Ugly
Muppets Most Wanted ($4.99, AmazonInstantVideo)
Trivia, if you make a sequel, and no one goes, does a tree still fall in the forest? I’ll let you ponder that while my DJ revolves it, then I’ll throw in the factoid of the film making less than half of the original AND dropping 17 percentage points on RottenTomatoes (though admittedly still staying fresh). How do you make a film no one wants to see with Ricky Gervais and Tina Fey? It’s a real mystery, a veritable whodunit. Like that Dayani guy up above.

Streamability: No, not really.

Sorry this is an abbreviated version, but my FALL PREVIEW really took it out of me. I’ll do better next week, promise!

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