FilmDrunk

This Week In Movie Posters: Fantastic Jacks And Where To Reacher Them

This Week In Movie Posters begins this week with American Pastoral, Ewan McGregor’s adaptation of Philip Roth’s 1997 novel. This one’s already suspect on account of it contains a single pull quote and that quote comes from infamous quote whore Pete Hammond. Putting a Pete Hammond quote on your poster sends a strong message, and that message is “we couldn’t get quote from a real critic.”

Other than that, the poster is… okay, I guess. They’ve been silenced by her watching eyes! That’s the message I’m getting from this. Makes enough sense, I suppose, though the placement of it sort of makes their chins look like weird boobs. Mmm, weird boobs.

[all posters via impawards]

This is a nice poster, and not just because I’ll see anything with cool-ass Idris Elba pointing a gun at me. Notice how the entire thing creates a nice diagonal effect? And they do it without tilting the horizon line inexplicably sideways? That’s how you poster. Stop tilting the damned picture sideways.

Ooh, little kids having nightmares, I’ve never seen that in a horror movie before.

I often to accuse indie movies of being far too protective over secrets and spoilers. This is basically the opposite of that. I don’t mind them laying out the premise with text, Close Encounters of the Third Kind-style, but why not make it stand out more by leaving out the actors’ names? I barely even noticed the (cool) tagline down there. I mean, it’s not like people are walking by this going “Oh damn, son, Dan Bakkedahl’s in this? Well mark my f*cking calendar.”

The only question I have about this poster is whether it’s worse than the trailer, which would be a feat. Every single thing about this looks scientifically calibrated to give me all of the pukes. It looks like a collection of Upworthy headlines. I know I haven’t seen this and it’s not out yet or anything, but I feel confident naming it the worst movie of 2016.

Sidenote: Why does Keira Knightley always look like she’s about to pass out from sultriness?

And here we have a black light IMAX poster for Doctor Strange, which is actually pretty perfect. I want to take shrooms and sit in front of this until Benedict Cumberbatch starts talking to me about David Beckham and fish and chips and the recipe for bread pie.

×