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Paramount has been promising us a Star Trek teaser all week, and now they’ve delivered. Star Trek Into Darkness, which unfortunately doesn’t seem to involve Charlie Murphy despite the title, has a teaser that looks more or less like every JJ Abrams movie teaser – SOMETHING F*CKING HUGE IS HAPPENING WE CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS BUT IT’S THE BIGGEST EVER AND EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT IT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO MISS IT DO YOU?!?
Luckily Star Trek was the JJ Abrams project I actually liked, so I’m actually interested in this one. STID returns Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Zoe Saldana, and adds Alice Eve for eye candy and Benedict Cumberbatch for Brit candy. Cumberbatch reportedly plays some version of the villain Khan, and the teaser (at least, the Japanese version of the teaser, which I’ve embedded) apparently includes a Khan reference that I wasn’t familiar enough with the source to get. Nonetheless, I pantsed this nerd from MTV Movies Blog and the following explanation fell out:
While it’s not Benedict Cumberbatch saying, “Alas, my true identity is Khan,” but there is a visual callback to the sequel’s second most iconic scene (behind “Khaaaannnnnn” of course).
The scene of course comes right before Spock’s death from radiation poisoning. Having just saved the entire crew, Spock says he’s good-bye to Kirk with a line that will choke up any good nerd worth his or her salt. “You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.”
It’s a clear reference, which seems like a curious choice for the first teaser, since everyone and their mother is assuming that Cumberbatch is playing some alternate universe version of Khan.
That alternate universe? You guessed it, ENGLAND!
I had to include at least one otter who looks like Benedict Cumberbatch:
In conclusion, I really wish Khan was an otter in this version.
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Is Bandersnatch Cummerbund playing an alien? Because he was basically born to play a dignified alien.
Sherlock + The Hobbit + Khan + Smaug = Good God Im a huge nerd.
I was totally psyched for “Star Trek Into Darkness” until this teaser came out. Then again, I misguidedly thought is was a movie version of Astronaut Jones.
You mean Starman Jones?
You mean Starr Jones?
Wait, I thought of something better.
“What is that the son of Pacman and Star Jones?”
@Bob Dylan
Answer: Inmate 47563289
Seems he chilled out on the overusage of lens flare this go-around.
That’ll come in post-production.
Most likely. I was blinded by optimism…and lens flare.
This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand CGI workstations. Soon, they’ll have added the most amount of lens flares known to mankind!
I knew it was monkeys. Even before I knew it was them, I knew it was them.
I have been under the impression that Cumberbatch is playing Gary Mitchell. You see back when oh hey come on guys let me out of my locker.
I was going to say that or Garth of Izar, but I was busy getting a wedgie. FLAVIN!
History of great villain names:
Iago!
Professor Moriarty!
Lex Luthor!
Magneto!
…Gary Mitchell.
I’m with you there. The whole behind the glass “live long and prosper” is probably to throw us nerds off.
Abrams shouldn’t (and probably doesn’t want to) touch the legendary Wrath of Khan, so I’m voting Gary Mitchell. If that really was a Star Trek II reference, then that means that someone’s dying which is a WAY more important “spoiler”.
Visual callback, whatnow? Get back to me when Alice Eve has a crazy-assed Yeoman Rand hairstyle and is rocking the fire engine red.
Sherlock Holmes is not Khan Noonien Singh. Khan is supposed to be a cross between Stephen Hawking and LeBron James. They should have cast The Rock.
Thanks, now I’m hearing Khan speak in Hawking’s voice
This thing is gonna need a buttload more Picard before I start caring what it’s about
Indeed. Are the hardcore trekkies still more into the Kirk version? I know it makes me a heretic, but I couldn’t give two shits about the old Kirk Star Trek.
The old series was awful, but the OG crew movies are far and beyond better than any of the Next Generation ones. Having said THAT the Next Generation is a better TV series. So yeah…
I thought Generations was kinda boss.
Only the real die hard, older, “hippie-like” crowd are so fanatic about Kirk that they can be blinded to “other Star Trek stuff”. This is rapidly becoming a niche demographic, though. The average Trekkie technically likes most Trek products, citing a large variety of “favourite characters”.
I enjoyed DS9 more then any other Star Trek. You had Quark and the war with the Dominion.
Qaplah! The Mighty Feklahr is a “Niner”, too!
I saw some of the movies as a youth, but TNG is what really pulled me into Trek. The series was fantastic, and I never felt the same about DS9, Voyager, etc. Enterprise I never even watched once.
We’ll always have First Contact I guess. I’d still pay to see the aging TNG crew over this EXTREME version of Trek.
Yeah DS9 was also my favorite. Major Kira being totally hot puts that show over the top in my book.
I pity a generation who didn’t learn the folly of racism from a crudely painted Frank Gorshin.
You can keep your gawdamm Malcolm X and whatnot.
Frank Gorshin for the win.
At least we’ll always have those black and white cookies to remember him by.
Right, Jerry? Elaine?
So if they ever reboot the Next Generation series in movie form is James McAvoy going to play Picard?
I’m so happy that Fek is a Niner.
I’m a niner too! I’ve made a DS9 reference in one of the KSK rivebrogs!
I was actually wondering that yesterday–whether or not they’d re-boot TNG once the Pine-era crew got tired of making the movies, but my dog has a tendency of rolling its eyes at me instead of giving me an answer
I’m disappointed that the otter does not have a deerstalker photoshopped on his head.
When the first film came out I told my girlfriend “I guess we can add another violation of the temporal code to Kirk’s file at the Department of Temporal Investigations, amiright?” I fell I should let everyone know my “girlfriend” is a cardboard cut out of Lizzy Caplan.
Also, please god no Beastie Boys in this one. That pulled me out of the ‘universe’ so hard in the first movie I still loathe that part.
No, this time Uhura will be watching “Madea Goes To Jail” in her quarters when the red alert goes off.
*incoming transmission*
Qaplah, puny human weaklings! Tremble in terror at the presence of The Mighty Feklahr!
The Mighty One is here today because He has been asked by the internet to give His impressions and insight to the possibilities of the proper identity of Benedict Cumberbatch’s character in the new Star Trek Into Darkness movie.
After a modest amount of reflection and research, The Mighty Feklahr has compiled the following list, in ascending order of “likelihood”:
– “Finny” from the episode “Court Martial” or “Finnegan” of the episode “Shore Leave”. (These are two very minor and obscure characters, but they both hold a characteristic of being a “skeleton in the closet” for Kirk. It is doubtful the movie producers would go so transgressive for a film, though.)
Odds: 1,000,000 to 1
-Charlie X
[en.wikipedia.org]
Odds: 1,000 to 1
-Gary Mitchell
[en.wikipedia.org]
Odds: 50 to 1
-Gary Seven
[en.wikipedia.org]
Odds: 50 to 1
-Khan
Pretty even darn money, but ya never know!
*end transmission*
Qaplah! Thanks, Lince!
Thanks for the links, Fek. I’ve seen more than my fair share of Star Trek episodes but had no recollection of this Gary Mitchell character that’s being speculated about. Gary Seven sounds interesting too although he was no Dave Eight or Keith Fourteen.
Johnny Five will always be King of the Mountain!
Lince, you ignorant slut. The “callback” to Wrath of Kahn was when Spock touches the glass divider on one side and Kirk puts his hand on the other side. They do it in Wrath of Kahn right when Spock dies after walking into the reactor room unshielded and repairing the warp core manually, thus guaranteeing his tragic death to save the lives of everyone on board the ship.
I was going to mention that he doesn’t say that shit that Vince said he did, but I just told Mom instead.
First off, you both understand the concept of a block quote, yes? Secondly, you just described pretty much exactly what the blockquote (not written by me) says. “While it’s not Benedict Cumberbatch saying, “Alas, my true identity is Khan,” but there is a visual callback to the sequel’s second most iconic scene…”
I stopped reading (and dropped my cheetos) in furious nerd rage once I got to the part where you said you weren’t familiar with the second most famous scene in The Wrath of Kahn. Allow me a brief anecdote: in my house, we say “montalban” instead of “retarded;” it started from saying that’s Retardo Montalban and eventually just shortened to “That’s Montalban.” Well, Lince, you not having seen Wrath of Kahn is the most Montalban thing this side of the Special Olympics!!!
Good Day Sir!!
That blockquote features some pretty atrocious grammar.
Lince, don’t feel the need to explain yourself. You are a Professional, while these other people are just angry, mouth-breathers sitting in their underwear typing with one hand and holding a hot pocket in the oth… oh. Never mind.
PS – I just assume you mouth-breathe when you get angry.
People are actually arguing that Trek :TNG is better? Really?
Data is like the offspring of Jar Jar Binks and C3P0.
Kirk was a man’s man. Picard is a summer stock Shakespeare cast off. ( I like Patrick Stewart in reality, but that character was boring as all fuck.)
The glowing carpet monster from that episode in the tunnels or GTFO.
My boner is so fierce for this, you guys. I still resent Vince for his Abrams bashing though.
I liked Star Trek. A lot. Super 8 fucking sucked though.
naw man, Super 8 was the best blockbuster of that summer. and he made the best Mission: Impossible movie too. not to mention the first two seasons of Alias which are the two he was involved with are excellent as well. the dude is top notch.
Nah, dawg, Ima let you finish, but Brad Bird made the greatest Mission Impossible of all time!
No, but for reals. MI:3 was all right, but Ghost Protocol was clearly better. I also enjoyed the Star Trek reboot and Super 8.
Ghost Protocol is second for me, but i felt like Brad Bird basically just took Abrams style for M:I 3 and used it for GP whereas the first 3 had their own unique take – as shitty as John Woo’s was.
Look into your heart, dissident, and answer me this: was Super 8 awesome, or was it like someone had just sewn together pieces of much better 80s movies in a cheap attempt to pander to your nostalgic yearnings for another Goonies movie?
the focus on a group of kids aside, i really don’t get the Goonies comparison. i hate the goonies. the only thing that movie was tolerable for was an honest interaction between the kids, which Super 8 nailed. was Super 8 basically a classic Spielberg collage? absolutely. is that somehow a negative thing in my eyes? fuck no, that’s wonderful.
Doesn’t this seem more of a Gary Mitchell thing than a Khan thing? Alice Eve will probably be Elizabeth Dehner, which is probably why they haven’t said who she will be playing. Given Abrams over the top commitment to secrecy I would bet the glass scene is to throw people off
Yeah, that thing is a little too . . . too. Maybe Spock is in prison and Kirk is visiting him.
The last I’ve heard is that it’s Gary Mitchell. With regards to Khan, I don’t think it’s going to be him, rather comparing Benedict’s character to the Mongolian Khan family or Khan from the 1990s Star Trek universe
If they use Khan it’s going to be awful – they haven’t earned Khan. Khan literally had 20 years of history to build his hatred against kirk and the federation, compared to the like…15 minutes a new Khan would have
Is any of this movie going to actually take place in, like . . . space? The trailer is entirely things crashing into the ground, and also jumping off of cliffs. Call me a spacepurist, but I like my starships trekking betwixt stars. Not crashing into the San Francisco Bay.
At least there’s no Whales.
Make use of those wessels. Space wessels.
Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the nuclear wessels?
I don’t care about villains unless Martin Freeman shows up painted half black, because then I know it’s a crossover episode. Bele or bust!
Anybody else think Otterbatch sounds a lot like everyone’s favorite bald Englishman, Patrick Stewart, in this teaser?
I can never check this at work so I’m always late to the comment party but I need to bitch anyway. Is anyone else tired of trailers wherein the villain rambles through some unrealistically long winded monologue set to explosions? Oh, and you’re guaranteed to see said villain’s face for all of 3 frames of the trailer. Maybe I’m nitpicking, but this is starting to seem lazy.
TNG or GTFO
OK.. so does this mean that some sort of space-seed flashback will happen?!?!?
Wait, Fek likes Star Trek???
Having seen the preview yesterday, I’m not sure I’m feeling the plot for this one, and I’m definitely not sure I’m impressed, special effects be damned.
Has anyone seen the poster for Macbeth starring James McAvoy? it’s almost identical to the trek/TDKR posters. Now if only it was composed diagonally…