Weekend Movie Guide: Here Come The Men In Black Who Need More Money

Senior Writer
05.25.12 5 Comments

Will Smith shows us exactly how his wiener kids were born.

Opening Everywhere: Men in Black 3, Chernobyl Diaries, Moonrise Kingdom

Never Heard of It: Mighty Fine

FilmDrunk Suggests: Well looky here – for once me and Vince agree on something. I don’t think Men in Black 3 will be a bad movie at all, and Vinnie thought it wasn’t bad. BOOM! Go see it because it’s not Battleship, which I will be seeing next week for *wink wink* certain obligations.

"What did I tell you about keeping Kardashian vaginas?"

Men in Black 3

Michael Bay Washed Ferrari Scale:

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Adding to the list of misfires is Emma Thompson as Agent O, who replaces Rip Torn as the head of the M.I.B. agency. Seemingly intended to add spice as Agent K’s is-she-or-isn’t-she love interest, the actress is hopelessly wasted.” – Michael O’Sullivan, Washington Post (I’ll take “Things I will also be tonight” for $500, Alex.)

“As in most successful fantasy blockbusters, there’s a comfortable balance between technological wizardry and human talent—for all the eye-popping special effects, one of the chief pleasures here is Brolin’s impeccable mimicry of Jones’s weary West Texas drawl. “ – J.R. Jones, Chicago Reader (Translated: Pay $15 to see Josh Brolin’s Tommy Lee Jones impression.)

Armchair Analysis: Sure, this film was made because it’s a cash cow. Sure, Will Smith is receiving a small fortune for making it, regardless if it bombs or not. And sure, I want to smack Josh Brolin in his incredibly charming face when he says in interview after interview that he wanted to do this movie because he loves the first two. But I still enjoy the first two MIB films, so I don’t really have anything negative to say. I mean, I’m not going to rush out to see it, but I’ll end up seeing it. And then I’ll probably say, “That was good, but I can’t wait for The Dark Knight Rises because I hear that Robin is a girl.”

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