Weekend Movie Guide: Won’t You Please Think Like A Man Again?

Opening Everywhere: Think Like a Man Too, Jersey Boys

Opening Somewhere: Third Person

FilmDrunk Suggests: Just looking at critics’ scores alone, this is not the best weekend to be heading to the movie theater for new releases. The good news is that someone was finally brave enough to make a movie about what happens when a group of guys AND girls go to Las Vegas. I mean, can you even imagine the kind of hijinks that people get into when they travel to Vegas in groups that are separated by gender? I can’t.

Think Like a Man Too

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 22% critics, 80% audience (I hate you, audience)

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Freed from its ties to the source material – the first film was inspired by a Steve Harvey self-help book – Think Like a Man Too borrows liberally but in a definite PG-13 fashion from The Hangover, hitting on every required Vegas touchstone. – Connie Ogle, Miami Herald (That’s a positive review, that it “borrows” from The Hangover. Positive.)

It’s intermittently fun, and funny, but after a while it’s just so much swinging back and forth. We get it. You’re up. You’re down. You’re back up again. – John Semley, Globe and Mail

Armchair Analysis: The last time I wrote bad things about a movie that featured a group of bros partying in Vegas, Last Vegas, I upset some of the town’s fine citizens and I felt kind of bad about it. Everything about Las Vegas is fun and great, but the people who visit it are the worst. But beyond that, the stupid, tired, clichéd bachelor and bachelorette party movies have got to stop. There is almost nothing new that a writer or director is going to bring us regarding Vegas. The Hangover took the old formula to a crazy, new level, but it still wasn’t that new. So unless someone knows how to take things one more step – Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg tried and failed miserably, as expected – STOP. IT. WITH. VEGAS. MOVIES. ALREADY. F*CKING. HOLLYWOOD.

But what upsets me most about this stupid, unnecessary sequel is that this is apparently what my girlfriend, Taraji P. Henson, left Person of Interest for. Also, any time I write about Think Like a Man, I’m required to mention that this is a movie franchise based on a relationship advice book written by Steve Harvey, a comedian who has been married three times. That’s like the Pope writing a book on how to 69 properly.

Jersey Boys

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 56% critics, 66% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

The film is a funny mix of formulaic and fresh. The numbers are too polished – there’s no sense of discovery. But the songs and their harmonies are evergreen. – David Edelstein, Vulture

Aptly if somewhat awkwardly, Jersey Boys finds its most soulful moment in a movie version of a curtain call. Only it’s pretty complicated when a movie’s most rousing moment comes as the closing credits roll. – Lisa Kennedy, Denver Post

Armchair Analysis: When I was in high school, my very first part-time job was at an ice cream parlor, where they only played the oldies station, because customers love it. After a while, I found myself really getting into a lot of the classics, and it really made me appreciate the history of American music, no matter how much those classic artists stole from people before them. But Frankie Valli’s voice drove me up a wall the same way Kramer lost his mind when he heard Mary Hart’s voice. I’m sure other people love him, though, since Jersey Boys was a huge Broadway hit and all.

Third Person

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 26% critics, 41% audience (That’s terrible, to be polite.)

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

The muddled concept is forced to the point of breaking, the writing overheated and the story arc grimly perplexing. – Claudia Puig, USA Today

“Third Person” maddens far more than it intrigues. Indeed, more curious than anything about the movie itself is how such an artistic stumble happened. – Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times

Armchair Analysis: This movie is even more proof that you can give me an all-around great cast – Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde, Liam Neeson, James Franco, Kim Basinger, and Maria Bello – and add a capable writer/director like Paul Haggis, but as soon as you add Adrien Brody, I’m out. Granted, this movie seems to suck beyond him, but he’s just that guy who kills a movie for me. Blame InAPPropriate Comedy or just the way he dresses and smirks, but either way, I can’t stand the guy.