Christmas Comes Early: Squeezing Breasts Prevents Cancer

12.19.12 5 years ago 4 Comments

Well, here’s something to put you in a jolly frame of mind — turns out grabbing boobs isn’t just fun, it can help prevent cancer as well. I mean, I always suspected, but now real scientists are confirming my amateur research.

Researchers from the University of California have discovered malignant breast cells can be convinced to return to regular grown patterns with just a bit of pressure. No, really! Here’s actual scientist Gautham Venugopalan saying it to prove I’m not making this s–t up…

“Malignant cells have not completely forgotten how to be healthy; they just need the right cues to guide them back to a healthy growth pattern.”

If you know what he means. Have yourself a merry little motorboating Christmas everyone.

via MSN News

Christina via Shutterstock

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