10 things getting James Franco’s face tattooed on your body says about you

09.16.13 5 years ago

Probably the end goal of having a portrait of James Franco’s character from “Spring Breakers'” tattooed on your body is having JF Instagram it along with the insightful caption, “Wow.” So in that sense, this Alien tattoo is a complete success. In other senses, it is maybe less than a complete and total, outright success?

Successful or not, here are 10 things getting James-Franco-as-Alien permanently etched onto your calf most definitely says about you:

1.You got shorts in every fuckin’ color. Gold bullets. Motherfuckin’ VAM-pires. “Scarface” on repeat.

2. Nose-shape accuracy is not quite a priority for you.

3. Your skin is significantly paler than James Franco’s.

4. You are not afraid to piss off Riff Raff!

5. You think that you are Hood. (You know what being “Hood” means.)

6. You are not quite sophisticated enough to get a tattoo of James Franco’s face from “As I Lay Dying.”

7. Calvin Klein “Escape.” Blades. “Scarface” on repeat!

8. You have a high threshold for physical pain.

9. You have a high threshold for emotional pain.

10. You will have to explain your tattoo to every single person you meet in 2023.

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