With rumors flying fast and furious as Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Mark Hamill were spotted in London yesterday, Disney/Lucasfilm had to pull the trigger on their Star Wars casting announcement. A photo of the first table read for Episode VII was released along with the full cast list. And the Internet promptly exploded. As it does. Here were some of the best responses
in order of amusement to me in no particular order
#1 – We all know our relationship with Star Wars is like First Love™.
Star Wars is like love cuz I want to believe in it but I've been hurt so many times but I can't stop needing it but I don't know anymore.
– Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 29, 2014
#2 – Adam Driver is the villain and nothing is more universally reviled than folk music.
And I assume Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver will perform a folk number called “Please, Mr. Palpatine” at some point.
– Jessica Johnson (@witchyflickchic) April 29, 2014
#3 – Whoever this was, we will hunt you down. You will pay for playing with our hearts.
WHO WAS SPREADING THAT “LUPITA IS BEING CAST IN STAR WARS” RUMOR i hate you and you've broken my heart
– Noelle Stevenson (@Gingerhazing) April 29, 2014
#4 – So that's what was missing from the first table read.
JJ Abrams photo of the New Star Wars cast. I FIXED it. Now it feels right. pic.twitter.com/RtEqINSy27
– Dave Johnson (@Devilpig666) April 29, 2014
#5 – And of course it'd be outrageous to think black women even exist in another galaxy.
Listen, they would have Lando in there, but they have John Boyega. Let's not get crazy and think the galaxy has two black guys at once.
– Devin Faraci (@devincf) April 29, 2014
#6 – And you thought these two breaking news stories weren't related. Ha!
– Chris Gore (@ThatChrisGore) April 29, 2014
#7 – Can't be any worse than Jar Jar Binks.
I have an idea for a Star Wars villain. Darth Gary Busey.
– Gail Simone (@GailSimone) April 29, 2014
#8 – Don't lie. You're all secretly hoping Weird Al is composing these songs as we speak.
WHAT?!! RT @starwars “…soundtrack by Fred Durst featuring singles 'Git Dat Dagobah Stank' & 'I Did It All For The Wookie'
– Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 29, 2014
#9 – In hindsight, maybe the prequels weren't so bad…
leaked copy of the Star Wars 7 script, “Star Wars Meets Zombie in a Bacon House ft. Moustache,” raises rather more questions than it answers
– The Mountain Goats (@mountain_goats) April 29, 2014
#10 – That is one controversial stance you have there Rob.
– rob delaney (@robdelaney) April 29, 2014
#11 – But not as rare as I would have thought?
– Darren Brazil (@darrenbraz) April 29, 2014
#12 – A zombie Force ghost, naturally.
Still no word on the rumor that Bill Murray will be in the new #StarWars but only if he can appear as a Force ghost
– Aaron Sagers (@aaronsagers) April 29, 2014
#13 – Soon this news will be digested and the Beast will hunger for more leaks. MORE!
Obi-Wan's twitter report: A million voices cried out about #StarWars casting then continued to cry out about tacos, cats, butts, etc.
– Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) April 29, 2014
#14 – Hopefully IKEA sends Abrams a really nice edible bouquet.
– Dan Trachtenberg (@DannyTRS) April 29, 2014
#15 – It appears the plague that wiped out 97% of human women in the Star Wars galaxy is multi-generational. Such a terrible tragedy.
I grew up feeling weird & ostracized for liking things like #StarWars bc they were ~*for boys*~ so glad to see we're continuing that cycle
– Sam Maggs (@SamMaggs) April 29, 2014
#16 – If we're lucky, maybe JJ will even let them pass the Bechdel test.
I can only imagine what Carrie Fisher is telling Daisy Ridley in that photo. “Two women is progressive for these movies.”
– Brett White (@brettwhite) April 29, 2014
#17 – The most concise accurate description of any beloved resurrected franchise ever.
Watching the new STAR WARS cast announced is like watching a bunch of wolves coo over a baby they're going to eat later.
– Linda Holmes (@nprmonkeysee) April 29, 2014