Outrage Watch: Don’t tell women they don’t get ‘Goodfellas’

Welcome to Outrage Watch, HitFix's (almost) daily rundown of entertainment-related kerfuffles. Not anxious enough already? Get your fix of righteous indignation below, and stay posted for outrage updates throughout the week.

New York Post movie critic Kyle Smith doesn't think women get “Goodfellas.” They just can't wrap their silly little brains around it! Here he is claiming that the movie's “core” story-driver — in his estimation, “ball-busting” ethics — is entirely unrelatable to the female demographic:

“Ball-busting means cheerfully insulting one another, preferably in the presence of lots of drinks and cigars and card games. …Women (except silent floozies) cannot be present for ball-busting because women are the sensitivity police: They get offended, protest that someone”s not being fair, refuse to laugh at vicious put-downs. In the male fantasy, all of this is unforgivable – too serious, too boring. Deal another hand, pour another drink. …To a woman, the 'GoodFellas' are lowlifes. To guys, they”re hilarious, they”re heroes. …When the 'Sex and the City' girls sit around at brunch, they”re a tightly knit clique – but their rule is to always be sympathetic and supportive as each describes her problems, usually revolving around the men in her life.”

As for Lorraine Bracco's character — Henry's (Ray Liotta) future wife Karen — Smith writes that while she essentially wins Henry's heart by busting his balls, she does it without realizing she's doing it:

“Even Karen”s (Lorraine Bracco) relationship with, and eventual marriage to, Henry is based on ball-busting. He”s bored with her on their double dates with Tommy and his girl, but after he stands her up, she comes down to the taxi stand where he”s hanging out with other wiseguys and yells at him. The guys love this and roar with laughter. Karen doesn”t realize it, but she has successfully broken Henry”s balls – hence she”s funny, lively and interesting. She promises to keep the party going.”

And don't get us started on what he thinks the “Goodfellas” synopsis would look read like if it were “told by a woman,” which would be something totally weepy and boring, obviously!

“'Meet an at-risk youth called Henry Hill. Victimized by horrific physical abuse from an early age, and traumatized by the responsibilities of caring for a handicapped brother, he fell prey to criminal elements in his rough East New York neighborhood in a time when social-services agencies were sadly lacking.'”

You're too much, Kyle Smith.

“…it”s not like 'Goodfellas' introduces Lorraine Bracco”s character Karen 30 minutes in and arguably makes the film about her,” writes Huffington Post contributor Sasha Bronner in a sarcastic rebuttal post entitled Women, Please Stop Watching 'Goodfellas'.” “It”s not like we hear her voiceover throughout the movie time and time again — literally putting us in her head so that we can hear her thoughts.