‘Revenge’ recap: Can Nolan ‘Control’ his feelings for Patrick?

That was quick, wasn’t it? This week the flickering passion between Patrick and Nolan not only ignited, but furniture was actually destroyed by the raging inferno that ensued. Seriously, when your friend thinks you’re dead because of the broken glassware, overturned lamps and general chaos of your lovemaking, you may want to rent a cheap hotel room or a bouncy house next time. Of course, Nolan really should assume anyone who excites him this much isn’t long for the Hamptons, and guess what? Ding, ding, ding!

This week it seemed that everyone, including Emily’s closest allies, was determined to make a mess of her best laid plans, and the exit of Patrick was just one more Jenga piece pulled out at the worst possible moment. While Nolan rationally understands it’s really best if he sends Patrick packing, he just doesn’t WANT to. He likes him! He really likes him! And Patrick seems similarly enraptured, though it’s hard to know if Patrick is as nice as he seems to be (with the exception of that attempt on Conrad’s life, of course). This looming break-up is all it takes for Nolan to go roaring into Jack’s bar, whining about the situation he’s in, then blabbing that he’s one of Emily’s inside men. 

Jack and Nolan then take this opportunity to bond, with Jack glowering and flexing his jaw muscles as Nolan gulps about wanting to be pals on a higher plane of truthiness. While I like the idea of the team coming together despite Emily’s attempts to keep all her planets in separate orbits, these scenes just don’t ring true. Jack’s character development has been especially shaky this season, as he seems to be supportive or hurt or angry depending on what will be most unpleasant for Emily in the moment than out of any honest reaction to life events. While Nolan’s desire for Patrick gives him some motivation, it makes no sense that he’d grudgingly go along with Emily’s request to dump his new boyfriend, then decide to whine about it to Jack. 

Jack and Nolan’s new, open relationship does allow Jack to finally reason with Nolan in a way Emily couldn’t. She doesn’t know what Charlotte has told Jack — that she took the fall for Patrick’s bad deed. When Jack explains that Charlotte will never be safe if Patrick finds out she’s the one person other than Victoria (and, seemingly, a lot of other people) who knows the truth, Nolan finally concedes he has to let Patrick Hot Pants go. 

But, seeing that Nolan will never let his love muffin go if the guy’s still in town, Jack takes care of business and blabs to Conrad that it was Patrick who tried to kill him and not Charlotte (neither of whom, ironically, are related to him). My favorite part about this is that Jack makes Conrad essentially pinky swear not to hurt anyone. Anyway, the next thing you know, Victoria is handing Patrick a bag and the number of a connected friend so that he can go on the run forever. 

Do I think Patrick is really gone? Nah. Just as I have no clue as to whether or not Patrick is sincere or a faker who’s playing Victoria, Nolan and everyone else he’s met in the Hamptons, I’m inclined to think the show isn’t done with him yet. But if “Revenge” has sent him packing this soon, it seems like an opportunity missed. Just as it was disappointing how swiftly Ashley was sent away like a FedEx package of betrayal, this quick turnaround suggests the writers just couldn’t find a way to play this out without being overwhelmed with all the plot twists they need to work in before the wedding.

Most of the episode revolved around Aiden and Emily trying to force the Graysons back into their house like pesky circus bears who can’t stop wandering out of the ring. Conrad sells the house, so Emily and Aiden squash the deal by convincing the real estate agent the beach is eroding. The house being rendered valueless, Victoria decides to move out. Aiden shows her where all the Grayson money has been hidden. It seems a shame to actually give the money back to the Graysons, and I have to think this must mess with Emily’s plans, but apparently it’s important to keep everyone in that damn house. 

In other news, Daniel tries to pick up a cake for Charlotte and whoops, who’s working at the bakery? Sara, the girl whose spine was snapped while Daniel was behind the wheel. Even though Sara yells and screams at Daniel, Charlotte gets her fired so she can hire her to work at Jack’s bar, and Sara reveals her heart still skips a beat when she sees Daniel even though is parents screwed her out of a fair settlement. Daniel, once he realizes that what Sara accuses her parents of doing is cold, hard fact, wants to earn her forgiveness, but she doesn’t seem interested — this week. Next week, expect sex on the beach or at least goo goo eyes. Yay, another problem for Emily to handle! 

Emily, most likely exhausted with pushing all the pieces of this human-sized chess game around, crashes Nolan and Jack’s date night to tell them that she wants them all to be friends and that she’s not going to be able to see them ever again after the wedding. Why? Because on August 8th, Victoria will go down for the murder of Emily Thorne. Of course, since she’s running off to the Maldives with Aiden, she’ll be seeing him again. I’m also thinking that, even if she gets down there, she might see Victoria again. Why?

Because Aiden was stupidly reading a guide book about the Maldives RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Okay, that may be giving Victoria too much credit. But too often I feel “Revenge” plays a little fast and loose with logic and character in the interest of making big moves. As much as this is Emily’s game to play, sometimes the people whose lives she’s manipulating — as well as the rest of the cast — start to feel as inhuman to us as they likely do to her. 

Do you think Daniel will have a fling with Sara? Do you think Patrick will come back?