Watch: Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj in new ‘Beauty & the Beat’ video

Ever wonder how we”ll be partying in 3012? According to Justin Bieber, it will be primarily underwater  (maybe it”s all a subtle illusion to global warming the polar ice caps melting. Or maybe it’s his homage to Kevin Costner’s “Waterworld?”…nah).

[More after the jump…]

The video for “Beauty And A Beat” featuring Nicki Minaj starts with message that earlier this month, three hours of “personal footage” was stolen from Beiber and “illegally uploaded.” As you may recall,this week Bieber claimed on Twitter that his computer and laptop had been stolen (leading some outlets, including MTV, to report it as fact). Turns out Biebs was just punking us, y”all!  He was setting up the release of the video. What a scamp!

The “found footage,” which is totally boring and sanitized, shows Bieber in the studio and playing ping pong.  We realize it”s all a joke as the clips switches to footage of Bieber holding a cam and showing the credits that he wrote, directed and shot the video. We see him awkwardly walked backward, holing the camera and lipsyncing.  He clearly puts down the camera at some point to show off his funky dance moves in a water park pool surrounded by some synchronized swimmers.  Back to walking backwards, holding the camera.

And look who he finds! It”s Minaj, dressed in a cute little pink outfit. He gyrates up against her in one in a most uncomfortable, awkward way, as she raps, improbably rhyming “Bieber,” “ether,” “weiner” and “Selener” (we”re guessing she”s taking poetic license with Selena Gomez”s name).

After he”s been polite to his guest, who definitely looks like she will kill him if he pushes her in the pool, he returns to his buddies and frolics in the water some more. Scene.