The Steak-Umm Twitter Dropped The Most Woke Tweet Rant Of 2018


Normality is dead. So why not look to the official Steak-Umm brand Twitter account for the most woke rant of 2018?

Scorching the earth out of nowhere like a lightning bolt on a clear day, Steak-Umm temporarily ceased their efforts to sell you on their frozen sheet meat’s 100% beefiness to spit some truth about the many ways young people are disrespected, underappreciated, and ignored by past generations and society on the whole. From the lack of economic opportunities and mental health care to failures with regard to student loan debt, corrosive hollow nostalgia, and a feeling of numbness and emptiness that can spread by way of social media, Steak-Umm spared nearly nothing in its epic rant.

Here are some screenshots just in case this was all some gutsy diatribe by Steve, Steak-Umm’s college intern (who maybe got tired of the name calling).


Deep cut meat / meet homonym switch there. Pretty #OnBrand.


Someone was listening to the VO in that last scene of American Vandal: Season 2.


What’s the Steak-Umm Twitter account usually like? Sometimes they respond to people shit-talking their product, sometimes they educate eBayers on meat freshness and shipping times, and sometimes they post re-purposed memes from The Office. And sometimes they let everyone know that they’ve got some things on their mind.


Still, this turn was unexpected. But while the cynical side says “brand makes noise to attract attention and succeeds, going viral” and dismisses this, no matter the inspiration, Steak-Umm is saying some stuff that is worth reading and which doesn’t get said nearly enough by anyone other than the people that are in the thick of it.

I didn’t wake up this morning expecting to write an impassioned defense for why we should listen to Steak-Umm and judge their remarks on content, not on the lane we assume they should be restricted to, but here we are.

Basically, what I’m saying is, if Gritty the mascot has a well-reasoned take on Medicare for all, screw it, I’m here for that too.

Update: Following a dalliance with the idea of running for President in 2020 (corporations ARE people, according to the Supreme Court), Steak-Umm started putting off an “all we are is dust in the wind” vibe so I engaged. Will the brand continue dropping truth bombs and having deep conversations with me at 1AM? Time will tell, but gosh, I hope so.