A Complete Breakdown Of Beyonce’s Movements On Her 35th Birthday

After cleaning up at the VMAs, it would’ve been totally valid if Beyonce had decided to just have a lowkey birthday. But why on Earth would she want to do that? Just like the rest of her actions in 2016, Bey’s 35th birthday came off casual, but was clearly plotted out to a T. You don’t become queen on accident. So let’s track her movements from the beginning of yesterday just to recap everything that went down — because a lot happened.

Hung out with her mom, the Obamas, and Blue Ivy at Camp David

Many outlets including Elle cited a Splash photo that pictured Beyonce and her daughter Blue heading down to Camp David this Friday to spend some time with Michelle Obama and the girls. The President is in China on official business, but I’m guessing he had fomo about having to work this particular Sunday. Looks like Beyonce’s mother Tina Lawson was also in Maryland for the festivities. No sign of Matthew Knowles, though… *thinking man emoji* *Jay Z laugh*

Released the “Hold Up” video to the rest of us poor plebeians who can’t afford Spotify, Apple Music and Tidal subscriptions all at once

Look, I appreciate the independence of Tidal. I love how they’re challenging these enormous companies, and I support artists banding together to stand up for themselves no matter what. But we all know that letting one of the best albums of the year languish in purgatory there has grown old. So, releasing one of Lemonade‘s best tracks as a birthday gift to us on her own day of celebration was another example of Bey’s graciousness. It’s a holiday weekend and I’m in a baseball bat swinging mood.

Got some diamonds from Kelly Rowland, who also headed to Philadelphia to celebrate
According to E! News, Kelly got Beyonce diamonds. Classic and quality, just like Kelly has always been. Glad these two are still close.

Was reassured by Mariah Carey that Mariah Carey knows her

Not like she’d try it, but we’re all relieved that she didn’t.

Got a shout out from Nicki Minaj who dropped a f*cking fantastic freestyle over Young Ma’s “OOOUUU“

Game recognize game. Pretty sure that sparkling freestyle is just as precious a birthday gift as any diamond.

Received a bee-faced-Snapchat-shoutout from Kim Kardashian

Hung out with Bill Clinton at Made in America
https://twitter.com/KarenCivil/status/772610311979278336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
This photo almost broke the internet. I know that term gets thrown around lightly these days, but hell, with the election we have going on, we need as much shine from Beyonce as possible to rub off on the Clintons. Besides, after Lemonade we already know that Beyonce is in the business of forgiving, so why not extend that same courtesy to Bill Clinton, king of philandering husbands? I bet Hillary has put on “Hold Up” a few times since it came out.

Danced with Jay Z to Coldplay at Made in America

Shout out to this thrilled fan who got to experience the moment and still had the wherewithal to snap a video. Quick thinking at its finest. Also shout out to Bey and Jay for enduring the fan coming up to take a selfie while they’re trying to share a special moment on her birthday of all days. Her grace is truly boundless.

Got serenaded by Chance the Rapper — a la the Michael Jackson guest appearance on The Simpsons — at Made in America
https://twitter.com/INDIGOHEAUX/status/772618133580288000?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Damn, Chance always gets the mood right, right? Kanye was dead on when he called him “the future” during his speech at the VMAs. And no matter what happened on Lemonade, and despite all the presidential attention, here’s who Beyonce was finishing out her night with:

https://twitter.com/BeyonceAUS/status/772655114951593984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Did I miss anything crucial? Let me know in the comments, Beyhive. I am just a mere woman, but you are legion.