I Might Be Becoming A 36-Year-Old Justin Bieber Fan, And I Don’t Know How To Deal With It

09.21.15 4 years ago 14 Comments

This has been eating away at my insides. This has been festering, causing me to lose sleep, causing me to not look other people, other grown-ups, in the eye. This has been distressing, disheartening, and borderline disgusting.

What is this? I like a Justin Bieber song. Specifically, “What Do You Mean?” Actually, I might really like “What Do You Mean?” And, as said previously, it’s killing me inside.

I have been firmly entrenched in the anti-Bieber camp for some time now. I don’t care for that young man’s antics. Whether it’s shotgunning beers like a tee-totaling nancy boy, telling former President Bill Clinton to go pound sand while urinating on a picture of the president or being carried up the Great Wall on the shoulders of his body guards. You walk the Great Wall, Justin Bieber. With your feet! And come on, if you are going to be carried, hop on homeboy’s back piggyback-style, not Rudy-style. You are no Rudy, Justin Bieber. You aren’t even Sean Astin.

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