If there’s one thing we can hold to be true, it’s that Philadelphia sports fans are nothing if not, shall we say, passionate. Urban legends of thrown batteries and snowballs at Santa aside, when the Phillies won the World Series in 2008 the city devolved into chaos, with fans climbing street poles and in once instance, flipping over some poor dude’s car.
So with Sunday’s home playoff game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Minnesota Vikings determining whether or not team would make it to the Superbowl, the city was prepared this time — for better or worse. Prior to the showdown, crews were spotted throughout the city literally greasing street poles with Crisco in an attempt to prevent people from climbing them and injuring themselves.
MEANWHILE, IN PHILLY: Crews grease light poles to prevent @Eagles fans from climbing them. They call themselves the Crisco cops. 😂😂 #notajoke https://t.co/eHylRo3bvh pic.twitter.com/I7vwnYm8Fl
— FOX 29 (@FOX29philly) January 21, 2018
https://twitter.com/JordanRaanan/status/955154552793149441
On Broad Street crews are already greasing down the poles in preparation for a wild night! 😂 Hopefully it’s in celebration! @NBCPhiladelphia @Eagles #FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/27xgjB3BY0
— Aundrea Cline-Thomas (@AClineThomas) January 21, 2018
A little pole greasing here at Frankford and Cottman to prevent #Eagles fans from doing some climbing later @KYWNewsradio @CBSPhilly pic.twitter.com/ShY5UXsVq8
— Andrew Kramer (@Philly_Kramer) January 21, 2018
Now comes the time in the night where we must warn everyone about the dangers of Saturated Fats. Cheers for #Foles! Jeers for #Poles! It's a long way down, baby. Celebrate responsibly! pic.twitter.com/mES5MpPTY4
— Philadelphia Police Department (@PhillyPolice) January 22, 2018
Of course, you can never underestimate the tenacity of Philly sports fans, who met the greased poles with a resounding “challenge accepted” after the Eagles crushed the Vikings in a 38-7 win.
City workers in Philadelphia greased many of the city’s light poles to prevent Eagles fans from climbing them after the NFC Championship game. It looks like these happy fans were up for the challenge. https://t.co/Jqou2RxP08 pic.twitter.com/r0E1vzQ0CY
— ABC News (@ABC) January 22, 2018
A grease pole was conquered, if only for a few seconds. pic.twitter.com/MNnK7VXaCj
— Dan McQuade (@dhm) January 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/c_perry/status/955447917430693888
The grease didn’t work. I’m actually rather impressed with Philly folks: they may be a trash fan base (they’re a trash fan base), but they’re scrappy. They find a way. pic.twitter.com/JEUjjI8iel
— 𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑏 (@OhDagEmily) January 22, 2018
In Philly they grease up their poles before the game cause win or lose someone is getting fucked. #Philly
— Brian Bolte (@chokeonritalin) January 22, 2018
[a City Hall staffer sprints into the mayor’s office]
“Sir, we have a problem. It’s the poles.”
“What? How? I thought we greased them all.”
“That’s just it. The people are… they’re…”
“SPIT IT OUT, JOHNSON.”
“They’re climbing the greasy poles, sir.”
“My God.” https://t.co/0P00DwAfVc
— Brian Grubb (@briancgrubb) January 22, 2018
In at least one instance, the crowds could even be heard chanting “f*** that grease. (Language NSFW, obviously.)
Eagles fans chanting "fuck that grease" (jcamp616/IG) pic.twitter.com/SbA51RxVS8
— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) January 22, 2018
The city’s problems didn’t end with street poles, either:
looks like they forgot to grease one of the poles in Philly 🤦
(via @nms_789) pic.twitter.com/pa5SY4Xpab
— Sunday Night Football on NBC (@SNFonNBC) January 22, 2018
Kid: "Mom, where's dad?"
Mom: "He's in jail for riding a dune buggy up the Rocky Steps."#Eagles #FlyEaglesFly #Philly pic.twitter.com/6vK0YbDMKt— Dan Girolamo (@danny_giro) January 22, 2018
Philly police are now going to have to grease the steps of the art museum in Crisco for the Super Bowl. https://t.co/kg4KMOEyLD
— Kevin McGuire (@KevinOnCFB) January 22, 2018
God help us if the Eagles actually manage to win this thing in two weeks, although arguably things aren’t going to be much better of they lose. With any hope, fans won’t burn the city right to the ground.