Following his breakthrough performance at the CNN GOP Debate in Houston last Thursday, junior Florida Sen. Marco Rubio spent most of Friday launching a series of successful attacks against rival candidate Donald Trump. That amounts to two straight days’ worth of trolling. Instead of taking some time off to reboot before Super Tuesday’s festivities, however, Rubio railed into Trump again at a rally in Salem, Virginia, on Sunday. Among his many swipes at the New York real-estate mogul was an all-too obvious dick joke about the Donald’s diminutive hand size.
“He’s always calling me ‘Little Marco,’ and I’ll admit it. He’s taller than me, he’s like 6-foot-2,” Little Marco told the crowd. “I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who’s 5-foot-2. Have you seen his hands?”
Rubio gestured to his audience with his free hand, striking a claw-like pose to poke fun at the size of Trump’s supposedly minute appendages.* However, the real kicker (i.e. the dick joke) came when he subsequently quipped, “And you know what they say about men with small hands… you can’t trust them!”
The rally attendees, who were already in an agreeable uproar over other jokes Rubio had told about the Republican front-runner, howled with approval. Then again, they seemingly loved every joke Rubio’s speech writers had come up with for the occasion. From Trump’s inability to sweat due to his pores being clogged with spray tan, to his inability to “Make America Great Again” because, weirdly, his apparent overuse of artificial tropical skin tone enhancement would literally bleed out into the rest of the country. Most of these, like Friday’s attacks, were inspired by Trump’s own tweeted insults about Rubio.
The Donald hasn’t responded to Rubio’s jokes on Twitter or elsewhere, but rest assured — it will happen. He just needs to make sure his small fingers are able to reach all the keys on his Apple and/or Android phone.
(Via NBC News)