Branding is a dangerous thing. It permeates everything we do now that the only way to truly get anyone to buy anything is to have Channing Tatum dance all up on it in a movie and then winking. Commercials and billboards? Get out of here with “commercials.” That’s when you end up with something horrifying like Puppymonkeybaby that doesn’t actually make a consumer want to buy your product. But what happens when branding goes too far? What happens is that the internet starts to believe that a mummified corpse from centuries in the past is wearing Adidas sneakers.
The traditional shoes the corpse was wearing had straps that, when mummified, look like the white stripes of a classic pair of Adidas trainers, so either Adidas has a time machine that nobody knows about or people really need to tone down the conspiracy theories. Because let’s be honest, if they were able to go back in time and hand out free sets of sneakers, they would have put planted them at an archeological site that would be found much earlier in history, to maximize brand placement. If there’s going to be a conspiracy theory about this discovery, at least be rational about the speculation.
Ignoring the possible existence of time travel though, the unearthing of this mummy had some very interesting details. It was the first fully intact body and grave found in this area of Central Asia, and she was buried with many items contemporary to the time she was alive. Crazily, an entire horse was found with her as well as part of a sheep. Artifacts like cups, kettles, blankets, tools, and luggage were also found at the gravesite which archeologists say can help pinpoint more about her life and those of her fellow villagers. It is a discovery that people will most likely be seeing at museums and in history books for years to come. Adidas shoes probably not included.