Conor McGregor Was ‘Scared For His Life’ During The UFC 202 Bottle-Throwing Massacre

It’s only been about a couple of hours since the UFC 202 press conference wrapped up in chaotic, you could even call it “Monstrous” fashion, and already, the social media fallout has been swift and boisterous. For those of you who might’ve missed it, a quick recap:

  • Conor McGregor showed up a half-hour late to the UFC 202 press conference.
  • Shortly after he arrived, Nate Diaz opted to leave said conference.
  • On his way out, Diaz and his crew began taunting McGregor with Stockton Heybuddys and generally foul language, as is tradition.
  • Someone threw a water bottle, and then McGregor and Diaz’s crew promptly engaged in an impromptu game of dodgeball from halfway across the venue, only instead of dodgeballs they used water bottles and Monster energy cans.

And so, on this day in MMA history, the UFC’s answer to the Boston Massacre abruptly came to a close. (As a matter of fact, I think we can officially trademark this the Bottle Throwing Massacre™ for all future references moving forward k thx.)

Now free of the storm that is the Diaz bros. (for now), McGregor sat down with LA Times reporter Lance Pugmier to give his side of the story.

I just saw bottles being thrown. I was like, f*ck that, you wanna try and throw bottles, I’ll throw cans. It was all in self defense. I was scared for my life.

Say what you will about McGregor’s shtick, but you gotta appreciate that he can turn something as askew as a game of bottle tag into a metaphor for his fighting prowess. He trows bottles, I trow cans. He trows paper clips, I trow da whool fookin’ chalkboard. In terms of salesmanship, the guy makes Alec Baldwin’s character in Glenngarry Glenn Ross look like Jack Lemmon’s character in Glengarry Glenn Ross. (There really aren’t enough great movies about real estate salesmen, you know?)

Obviously, McGregor immediately clarified that he wasn’t scared for even a second and that he “hopes they don’t have to hear about it” when their fight at UFC 202 this weekend is over. As for his prediction, McGregor sees himself “cutting up [Diaz’s] soft skin and the ref stopping the fight” within two rounds. A testament to his mythical fight predicting skills, or a quiet acknowledgment that he doesn’t actually have the power to truly KO Diaz? Details plus fighting the frizzies at 11.

Meanwhile, Nick Diaz has used his latest run-in to start relentlessly trolling McGregor on social media.

YOU HEAR THAT, MCGREGOR? WHY THE F*CK WON’T YOU START THINKING ABOUT THE F*CKING KIDS, YOU F*CKFACED F*CK.

Three days, y’all. Three days ’till violence.

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