Amazon’s Proposed New Headquarters Resembles A Giant Set Of Balls

Amazon is building new headquarters for itself and they have grand plans for its design. It will be a conservatory, not just an office, and include public park space. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to look at the design from any of the submitted angles and realize they were building…well, Barry Zuckerkorn said it best: “Those are balls!”

Really, we should just post this clip and walk away. But instead we will quote from a respectable newspaper like grownups…

Amazon’s plan for giant spheres gets mixed reaction

Um, YEAH. We bet! They’re constructing a giant set of BAAAAAALLLLLLLS!

OK, OK, now here’s what Amazon is really intending…

The structure would feature five floors of flexible work space totaling 65,000 square feet and would be “capable of accommodating mature trees,” according to plans filed with the city. The spheres would range in height from 80 feet to 95 feet.

Here’s a full look at the structure, pictured with the person we assume has to be the architect…

Among the concerns some in Seattle have noted is that there’s little retail space in the building, that the structure will offer civilians no real protection from the rain, that the public won’t be allowed inside, and the fact that Seattle does not want to be the first city to have a location called Steel Scrotum Square.

Amazon is building a few boring office towers as well, but we really hope this design proposal goes through. True, it will be of little direct benefit to the public. On the other hand, people will visit from across the world to point and laugh. And really, isn’t that the most important thing?