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I believe we all have our horror stories involving customer service reps from across the board. A good percentage of the time they’re a breeze to deal with, but every so often you get an individual like the one presented in this post.
All Veronica Belmont and Ryan Block were attempting to do is cancel their Comcast service in order to move to another company. So like any customer, they called in to Comcast to end their service and sever ties. Things did not go as planned from there.
Please note: this conversation starts about 10 minutes in — by this point my wife and I are both completely flustered by the oppressiveness of the rep.
So! Last week my wife called to disconnect our service with Comcast after we switched to another provider (Astound). We were transferred to cancellations (aka “customer retention”).
The representative (name redacted) continued aggressively repeating his questions, despite the answers given, to the point where my wife became so visibly upset she handed me the phone. Overhearing the conversation, I knew this would not be very fun.
What I did not know is how oppressive this conversation would be. Within just a few minutes the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone.
This recording picks up roughly 10 minutes into the call, whereby she and I have already given a myriad of reasons and explanations as to why we are canceling (which is why I simply stopped answering the reps repeated question — it was clear the only sufficient answer was “Okay, please don’t disconnect our service after all.”).
Please forgive the echoing and ratcheting sound, I was screwing together some speaker wires in an empty living room! (via)
I’ve had customer service reps hem and haw to try and keep me on their service, but this takes the cake. You almost expect him to whip out something you’d hear in the cafeteria at high school. “Why you leaving Comcast, p*ssy? Gonna go cry to Astound about our incredibly fast service? F*ck off, d*ckmunch.”
The clip is ten minutes, only part of the call according to the description, and you only really need the first minute or so to get your blood boiling. Enjoy it though because they’re growing larger and pretty soon we’ll be bending over backwards for their service. That’s what happens when you’re the only group on the block and your friends run the other blocks.
(Via Ryan Block / Boing Boing)
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This is literally the worst thing I have ever heard
Wow! They must get $50k per retention!
It sounds more like they get punished if they fail to retain the customer. The dude is desperate.
I need to go punch things now.
Would you like a confirmation number first, before you bash stuff?
Actually, this is the one guy I’d be wanting working for my company. Notice, the customer had no answer for anything the sales rep asked, he did his job—as far as necessary—in keeping a loyal customer and he wanted to know why the customer is leaving so his company could learn and/or grow from it. Give that man a raise. Obnoxious-yes-someone who’s willing to fight for your company–hell yes.
And that’s why your company would go under. Any other customer service business that ISN’T amazing internet with that attitude would fail faster than you did marketing.
People like you are why people like me quit services via notarized letter if there’s not an automatic disconnection option. It’s a strategy that’s made me a surprising amount of money over the last five years or so.
Ha! There’s nothing like hearing opinion from people with no degree. I know YOU, in your constant state of awareness, would be frothing at the mouth to record a salesman reduced to keep a sale(purely for internet lolz) but out here in the real world, you posers are just a , “OK, can I speak to the homeowner please” away.
Sohio isn’t completely wrong. He fights to hold onto the customer.
The problem is the rep should have realized a lot earlier he wasn’t going to work with him for the reasons for canceling
What you’re not recognizing though, is that this obnoxious person is now on the Internet for everyone to hear. Do you think it’s worth having someone fight that hard to retain a single customer by being such a knob when now, that’s gone public and may have possibly cost Comcast other potential customers?
Comcast is horrible. Judging by the rep, its personnel are horrible (or are trained to be horrible).
Just like the guy said when asked why he was leaving “This phone call is a perfect example of why I am discontinuing my service”
The guy that talked the Apollo 13 crew to safety didn’t take that fucking long.
I can tell you this, if I am dealing with a guy like this on the phone, that company will never get another dollar from me. The inability to listen to and fulfill what the customer wanted was enraging.
You need a monopoly before you can pull this shit. So unless your fictional company magically materializes in a non-competitive market, you’ll be out of business before you can say “boiler room”.
He did his job after 18 minutes? The correct line of questioning should go:
CS: Why do you want to leave?
C: I’ve decided I want this other service, there is nothing you can say that will change my mind short of giving me free cable and internet for the next 3 years.
CS: Alright then have a nice day.
Exactly
Agreed.
BTW, when I canceled my Verizon cell phone (moved to a different market), and Sprint (another move), that is EXACTLY how they responded. I was on the phone and off in about 3 minutes.
When I went from Verizon to ATT it was, “I want a free iPhone 3gs and you can’t offer that.” and the guy said, “I totally understand, you’re all taken care of.”
This is insane
I would say anything just to get that to stop. No comment makes it seem like you’re in court or something.
Comcast killed my dog and fucked my sister. Cancel me.
Read the post: They gave a valid reason. The rep just wouldn’t accept it.
I don’t know how that guy didn’t lose his shit on that customer service rep. The rep seems like he might be mentally unstable.
they deserve each other
You guys are just the worst. Coffee is for closers. You fat losers can have another good laugh. I I applaud the salesman, just doing his job for the company. But, I know. You are just way too cool for school. I’ll have a #3 with cheese, no lettuce with a coke.
Your boss taps your internet, huh?
English isn’t your forte, huh?
You remind the teacher she forgot to give out homework, huh?
You sir, are an idiot. I have a masters degree and the guy was out of line. I did this kind of work in school and you have to balance the line of how far to push. Obnoxiousness is never the answer though. But you’re logic is impeccable, people with no degree cannot understand your reasoning…. b/c everyone without a degree must be dumb right…
Didn’t think the batshits would show up for Uproxx, boy was I wrong.
Roll damn tide
soundcloud? hahaha
Because he raped his dog and killed Comcast’s sister.
I switched to fios about 5 years ago and couldn’t be happier. those asshats at Comcast were the worst.
You’ll pardon me if instead of believing you I opt to believe my own experiences and that of every single person I’ve ever met in person who had comcast.
why the fuck doesnt the dude just say “because your customer service blows!”
i know he said “this is a good example of why im canceling”, but still, just make up a fake reason because who cares?
Well, according to the person, this recording started after 10 minutes of already being trapped on the phone with this guy. He said his wife had already answered all the questions — and considering that the questions consisted of, “but, seriously why don’t you want faster internet? like, seriously, why don’t you want to be with the biggest TV provider in the world?” it seems lame to blame the guy for not giving a good enough answer.
I’m not sure what planet some of you live on, but I for one am not the least bit surprised listening to this call. This is a rep doing their job as they are trained to do it. His job is to retain customers by any means necessary, and it seems that he felt they were unsure about leaving the service so he thought if he could get them to admit they didn’t have a reason that they would decide to stay. Now, this may very well be faulty reasoning, but when it comes to a job like that you have to take any opportunity you can. Personally, I don’t really blame the rep so much as I blame the money first management that places like Comcast have. They don’t care if the customer is satisfied as long as they keep paying their bill.
Not to mention, it isn’t like they feel like they have much to fear about offending someone that doesn’t end up staying with them. In all likelihood, they’ll be running the other company out of business in short order and figure they’ll be right back to being the only option, so they don’t care how people view their customer service. Again, with the rising number of cord-cutters these days, this is another faulty assumption, but they’re so used to being the only guys in town that it doesn’t really register with them yet.
Another reason I don’t really blame the rep so much is I don’t really know his circumstance. Maybe he’s been threatened with termination if he doesn’t improve his numbers so he has to push that much harder to get them up. It’s easy to shit on someone because they work for an evil corporation like Comcast and have this as their job, but it’s also easy to look down on someone who’s unemployed from the safety of your stable job. The job market sucks these days, and I’d be doing everything in my power to save my job too.
Remember that although you may feel that it’s a rep’s job to make everything easier for you, that may not actually be in his job description. I would agree that it’s a shitty practice, but as someone who’s been on the other side of that phone call (and been terrible at it, since I have compassion) I am not the least bit surprised by it. Businesses like Comcast will continue to use these practices for as long as people keep paying for their services.
Yup. I’ve worked retail and they pretty much instruct you to shove those warranties down your throat no matter how many times you say no. It’s all a numbers game to corporate.
I cancelled my Comcast service last Thursday and had no problems whatsoever. The phone call lasted 5 minutes tops. The service rep asked me why I was canceling and instead of telling him I was switching to AT&T U-Verse I lied and said I’m moving to the country where only satellite service is available. He told me my last bill would be $70 and they would send me a box to return my equipment. The box was at my house when I got home today and now I’m completely done with them. Guess I got lucky.
The worst experience I’ve ever had trying to cancel a service was AOL about 12 years ago. Talk about pushy. I actually laughed at the guy at one point during the call because of how aggressive he was.
@Shadowtag It’s like The Road Warrior in Philadelphia.
I would have hung up the minute this conversation turned irrational and gotten a normal rep. I hate Comcast as much as the rest of us, but most reps I’ve dealt with are not this resistant.
Btw, It seems Comcast is unanimously hated by the internet community, yet they’re the number one cable provider. What does that tell us about the futility of the situation we’re in?
Wow I would have just cussed his fuckin ass out and told him Comcast can suck my dick cancel me NOW!
Both these guys sound like gigantic assholes.
Exactly, it’s like there asshole best friends in a different life. I can’t decide who the bigger asshole is.
You read the part where this rep was hassling his wife for 10 minutes before he picked up the phone, right? I don’t think you’re gonna be particularly civil after that either.
@JJ Jr. True, but that’s just his side of the story so it could be BS for all we know. I’m just going by what we actually can hear for ourselves and they both sound like assholes to me.
Fair enough.
Now we know where all those AOL reps went to work.
It’s like a scorned girlfriend/boyfriend that won’t go away and can’t understand the reality. My neighborhood was finally lucky enough to get a competitor and I just got the pleasure of doing this. They tried everything in their arsenal to keep me, which is funny because if they wanted to keep me in the first place, why not offer me those things before I leave?
What the shit, Comcast is #1 rated?? Does he mean they’re #1 in the same way that McDonalds is #1 because sales correlate quality?
This guy seems to take pleasure in listening to this man grovel and beg for him to stay, I guess he just wants to see how far he’s willing to go to desperately keep him too. He could have just hung up and called back to find someone more reasonable in the retention department.
That dude has a lot more damn patience than I have.
I would have been carpet-bombing “fuck yous” at the one minute mark.
The fuck yous might have gotten the job done way more quickly. I think this was the time to deploy them.
“oh, you want to know WHY I’m leaving Comcast, well, that’s because fuck your mother.”
I can’t imagine the convo would have lasted 10 more minutes.
He should have just said “The reason I no longer want your service is because your company is trying to fuck with net neutrality”
After working a cold-calling phone job (not sales or customer service, we were trying to get people to let us send them the TV/radio ratings “diaries”–yeah, this was a long time ago) and various public-contact positions over the years, I have much more empathy for the people who do this. They’re human beings and have a terrible job to do.
Even telemarketers. I don’t waste their time or mess with them, I just hang up. Life goes on.
btw I moved 3 years ago and switched from Comcast to FIOS and the only hassle I had from Comcast is I had to drive to their office and stand in line for an hour to return my set-top box.
When I canceled Comcast in D.C. and gave them three weeks’ notice, they turned my Internet off immediately (rather than at the deadline I told them) and told me it was company policy to do so, so that I would have to cancel my original cancellation and return the set-top box myself. (We were moving out of town.) Naturally the guy showed up even after I canceled my appointment, then I had to drive to the ass-end of town on the day before our move. F*ck this company.
All he had to do to end his misery was to state the truth, rather than just circling around it. I’m sure the guy on the other end would have understood. “Please don’t cancel your subscription. Comcast will murder one of my family members if I agree to disconnect you.”
If I was talking to this Comcast guy, on a scale of 1 to Vesuvius, I would be at Quasar.
While I understand the point of view of the customer retention agent at Comcast, just trying to do his job and keep someone from cancelling their service, he should have realized about 2 minutes in after repeated attempts to get a reason for the cancellation that he was dealing with someone who wasn’t going to change their mind. He probably does get a shitload of calls with people who are temporarily upset about service, want to cancel and gives them free HBO and Starz for a month and they shut up. Having worked for this particular unstoppable corporate machine I can pretty much guarantee that these bottom rung of the ladder guys get their asses chewed when they don’t “do enough” to keep people from cancelling, because in the eyes of his supervisor and his supervisor’s supervisor and so on, there is no reason anyone should ever cancel their Comcast service, ever. He’s trying to go above and beyond for his meager $10.00/hr. He finally got it I think when the customer told him that by drawing this out and repeating the same question over and over he was being detrimental to customer’s already poor view of Comcast. That being said, from a customer standpoint, this guy is a saint for not going nuts and remaining calm throughout the entire process. So I tip my hat to him for that but for god’s sake man, just make up a fake reason and get it over with. I get that you want to make a statement that you can’t just call them up and cancel without a reason, but just lie and say you’re moving to an area that doesn’t have Comcast or some thing, jesus.
Also, to me, the most egregious thing that was said during that call was the “guaranteed 105 MB speed”, yeah that’s not true, you’re guaranteed “up to” a certain speed that you pay for, and you ain’t getting to that top speed, ever. And when you approach your bandwidth limit, best believe you’re gonna get intentionally slowed down, which is when Comcast wants you to think, ‘why is my internet so slow? how much is it to upgrade? only $20 more per month? well, I can afford that! better call and upgrade to the better package!” And so it goes, the unstoppable machine continues to churn.
You don’t have to give a reason why you’re cancelling a service. This isn’t a relationship, its a business transaction.
This is so Comcast as to be verging on parody. I think though that this is the time where getting angry is warranted – he might have proceeded faster to the bottom-line cancellation by raising his voice and unloading the curse words.
I almost wonder if this was a advert for Astoud because I have never heard of it before…
also not one “I want to talk to the manager”?
I cancelled my cable with Time Warner last week, and the only reason I gave them is that I don’t want to pay for it anymore. The rep offered me a few slightly cheaper packages, but my call was entirely wrapped up in 5 minutes with nothing even remotely resembling this.
After listening to the audio, I’m partially inclined to believe that this is fake.
wow, I cannot believe it took this long to get to our first $1 bidder. FAKE FAKE FAKE.
You should probably kill yourself.
I would have told him that I need to switch, because the home made porn movies his mom is sending to me, take too long to load. And if he inquired further, I would advise him as to the involvment of farm animals in his mother’s home made porno.
Yeah, cool story bro.
From a Comcast employee on Reddit:
When you call in to disconnect, you get routed to the Retention department; their job is to try to keep you. The guy on the phone is a Retention Specialist (which is just a Customer Account Executive who takes primarily calls from people disconnecting their service).
If I was reviewing this guy’s calls I’d agree that this is an example of going a little too hard at it, but here’s the deal (and this is not saying they’re doing the right thing, this is just how it works). First of all these guys have a low hourly rate. In the states I’ve worked in they start at about 10.50-12$/hr. The actual money that they make comes from their metrics for the month, which depends on the department they’re in. In sales this is obvious: the more sales you make the better you do.
In retention, the more products you save per customer the better you do, and the more products you disconnect the worst you do (if a customer with a triple play disconnects, you get hit as losing every one of those lines of business, not just losing one customer). These guys fight tooth and nail to keep every customer because if they don’t meet their numbers they don’t get paid.
Comcast uses “gates” for their incentive pay, which means that if you fall below a certain threshold (which tend to be stretch goals in the first place) then instead of getting a reduced amount, you get 0$. Let’s say that if you retain 85% of your customers or more (this means 85% of the lines of businesses that customers have when they talk to you, they still have after they talk to you), you get 100% of your payout—which might be 5-10$ per line of business. At 80% you might only get 75% of your payout, and at 75% you get nothing.
The CAEs (customer service reps) watch these numbers daily, and will fight tooth and nail to stay above the “I get nothing” number. This guy went too far; you’re not supposed to flat out argue with them. But Comcast literally provides an incentive for this kind of behavior. It’s the same reason people’s bills are always fucked up: people stuffing them with things they don’t need or in some cases don’t even agree to.
As Jordan Weissmann of Slate says, “So in short, yesterday we were all listening to a deeply fearful employee trying to hold onto his paycheck.”
And this is why I refuse to leave my AOL dial-up service.
That service rep was hopped up on speed. Ironically, a conversation with someone on speed is never finished quickly.