I believe we all have our horror stories involving customer service reps from across the board. A good percentage of the time they’re a breeze to deal with, but every so often you get an individual like the one presented in this post.

All Veronica Belmont and Ryan Block were attempting to do is cancel their Comcast service in order to move to another company. So like any customer, they called in to Comcast to end their service and sever ties. Things did not go as planned from there.

Please note: this conversation starts about 10 minutes in — by this point my wife and I are both completely flustered by the oppressiveness of the rep.

So! Last week my wife called to disconnect our service with Comcast after we switched to another provider (Astound). We were transferred to cancellations (aka “customer retention”).

The representative (name redacted) continued aggressively repeating his questions, despite the answers given, to the point where my wife became so visibly upset she handed me the phone. Overhearing the conversation, I knew this would not be very fun.

What I did not know is how oppressive this conversation would be. Within just a few minutes the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone.

This recording picks up roughly 10 minutes into the call, whereby she and I have already given a myriad of reasons and explanations as to why we are canceling (which is why I simply stopped answering the reps repeated question — it was clear the only sufficient answer was “Okay, please don’t disconnect our service after all.”).

Please forgive the echoing and ratcheting sound, I was screwing together some speaker wires in an empty living room! (via)

I’ve had customer service reps hem and haw to try and keep me on their service, but this takes the cake. You almost expect him to whip out something you’d hear in the cafeteria at high school. “Why you leaving Comcast, p*ssy? Gonna go cry to Astound about our incredibly fast service? F*ck off, d*ckmunch.”

The clip is ten minutes, only part of the call according to the description, and you only really need the first minute or so to get your blood boiling. Enjoy it though because they’re growing larger and pretty soon we’ll be bending over backwards for their service. That’s what happens when you’re the only group on the block and your friends run the other blocks.