A Captain America Impersonator In Florida Has Been Apprehended After Texting A 16 Year-Old Girl A Photo Of His Penis

05.05.14 4 years ago 2 Comments

Orange County Jail

Police in Orange County, Florida arrested a Universal Studios Captain America impersonator, James Weldon Alton, 29, on charges of of transmitting harmful material to a minor last week after he was caught sending a picture of his penis to a 16-year-old girl. I would think that a theme park superhero impersonator would be too busy beating high quality women of legal age off with a stick to even have time for underage girls, but what do I know. The Smoking Gun reports:

According to an arrest affidavit, the 16-year-old girl met Alton several weeks ago at the Orlando park, where the teen posed for a photo with the costumed worker. The girl later posted the photo online, where it was found by Alton, who “commented on the photo, and an online friendship began.”

The girl told Maitland Police Department investigators that she initially exchanged texts with Alton “as friends,” but that their communication soon turned explicit. Alton sent the teenager a photo of his penis, as well as texts about masturbation and “getting into her,” according to the police affidavit.

I have a feeling that the real Captain America would most definitely not approve. Or even if he did, it’s not like he would he even know how to text a picture of his penis, what with being from the 1940’s and all. Best case scenario he’d probably accidentally send it to one of his bosses at S.H.I.E.L.D. or something. Just because a guy can save the world doesn’t mean you can trust him to competently send a dick pic.

Around The Web