A Husband Sent His Wife A Spreadsheet Of Every Time She Said No To Sex

Because there’s nothing sexier than a spreadsheet, a frustrated husband kept digital track of every time his wife denied him loving, with excuses ranging from “I have to be up early” to “I’m watching the show,” the show being a Friends rerun. (If it was the episode with Ms. Chanandler Bong, then I get it.) The wife saw the document because her adoring hubbie is also a passive aggressive a-hole.

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part. (Via)

Look, I get it, it sucks when your partner says no to sex — I should know, I’m married [*crickets chirp*]. But it takes a special kind of weirdo (i.e. a Redditor) to not only keep track of every time you didn’t get any, but then to send it to your wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/sex robot/whomever. Keep that information as hidden as your masturbation habits list, which for this guy is probably as long as a novel.

Via Deadspin