A Macy’s Shoplifter Got Caught And Smeared Her Poop On Employees’ Faces

If Cards Against Humanity can send out literal boxes of sh*t on Black Friday, then surely Marisol Toribio, 32, should be able to allegedly smear poop in the faces of the employees whose store she unsuccessfully tried to shoplift. The poo-cident recently happened in a Macy’s in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, because of course it did.

According to court documents, Toribio was caught stealing from Macy’s, so she pulled some poop out of her pants and smeared it on the faces of the loss prevention employees who confronted her.

Toribio appeared in bond court Wednesday morning. She faces theft charges, plus a charge of tampering with or fabricating physical evidence. (Via)

What do we call this crime? The grab ‘n’ smear? The Bunghole H. Macy’s? I got it: #florida.

Via Local 10