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All Of The Horrifyingly Fascinating Things We Learned From Reddit’s ‘Children Of Porn Stars’ Thread

Between failed boy bands and the Too Many Cooks phenomenon, Reddit often provides a treasure trove of trivia for anyone who’s bored at work. (So everybody reading this, basically.) But a recent AskReddit forum addressing the “children of porn stars” takes the cake with the question, “How has this affected you growing up?”

The answers range from the sadly expected to the hilariously horrifying. For example, learning male porn star legend Ron Jeremy was once a house guest isn’t all it’s cracked up to be:

Well my dad was a big porn producer and director in the 70’s-90’s. It made him a ton of money but he blew it all gambling. There was always his porn movies and boxes out at his house. Don’t know if it affected me. I turned out pretty normal sexually.

I did find out Ron Jeremy had sex in my kitchen. So there’s that.

One of the most telling (but not unexpected) trends were answers recalling stories of middle and high school kids who discovered their parent’s (or parents’) involvement. If you’re thinking these answers are some of the worst, you’d be right, ’cause kids are sh*t.

This poor guy had to transfer schools, the mocking was so bad:

A kid I was in high school with was notorious because his mom was in porn.

Evidently in freshman year he had some friends at his house and they were going through his dads stuff looking for alcohol. They find his porn stash and decide to watch some porn together (because some guys do that I guess?) It was a vhs and it wasn’t rewound, so they started it in the middle.

I guess theyre all thoroughly enjoying themselves watching this chick from behind. Then the camera pans to the front and they get a square view of the woman’s face. It’s the kid’s mom.

He never lived it down. Not only was his mom in porn, but he’d been spanking the monkey to her. People would see him walking between classes and yell the name of the actor who was in the scene with her (I don’t remember the name now. Mike something, I think.)

When he made the football team someone put up still frames of his mom in other films in the locker room.
He transferred schools about halfway through sophomore year because he couldn’t deal with the mocking.

Meanwhile, this intrepid detective realized a fellow student’s mom was once in the business.

There’s a girl at my school and her mom is a adult movie star. I don’t know if it has affected in anyway, she seems pretty normal. Now the mom is running a yoga studio and the daughter is the youngest yoga instructor in the world.

Because this is Reddit, the first response hammered the nail on the head (if you know what I mean):

I’ve seen enough movies to know how this ends.

Most are short, to the point, and funny as hell. Like this whiny brat:

My mom is a cam whore. Bitch hogs all the bandwidth.

This sad sac(k):

I have a hard time watching porn, because every once in a while my Dad will pop up. Imagine that, it is pretty weird.

And this cool cat:

My dad was a porn star in the 70s.

His genes must run strong, because I have a huge dick, a hairy chest and a sweet mustache. Thanks, dad!

Yet probably one of the best answers doesn’t come from the child of a porn star, nor from the kids who discovered the family’s secret. Instead, this perhaps-there’s-still-hope-for-humanity response comes from the parent who was once a porn star:

So as a parent who has done porn (ex wife and I were both performers and later ran a smallish production company) I can tell you how the reacted.

My oldest child found out when she was 23 or so. She refused to speak to us because she was disgusted. We reconciled when she was 25 and in very deep trouble and came to us asking for help (abusive BF).

My second child, son, also found out but when he was 17. He’s super mellow and was like “Eh…” He found out by breaking into a locked file cabinet that had some artwork featuring his step mom. He got into trouble for the invasion of privacy, and we told him in no uncertain terms that it was doubly inappropriate on top of that and to stay out.

Child three, my ex and my natural child is 16YO girl. We retired the business when she was about 8 and as far as we know she has no idea.

My fourth child by my current wife is 10 months old and is not allowed to use the internet until I’m dead.

TL;DR My two oldest kids from a previous marriage found out their step mom and I did porn. One cared, one did not.

Having read through these responses a few times, I realize how fortunate I am for having parents who kept their shenanigans to themselves. Lord knows I couldn’t afford the therapy otherwise.

Source: Reddit

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