Here’s a little lesson for all of the bored a-holes of the world, running around looking for fun new things to try – if you’re walking by a cemetery while people are mourning a loved one, don’t pretend to be a ghost. Also, try not to play football in cemeteries at all. At the very least, don’t do it in the English city of Portsmouth like 24-year old Anthony Stallard did, because there it’s an offense punishable by fine and more, depending on how tarnished your permanent record already is. In Stallard’s case, he was already serving a 12-month suspended sentence for separate incidents of harassment and assault, so he received another three months and one final warning.
As if people actually needed to be warned not to act like total A-holes when they’re hanging out in places where dead bodies are all around them.
Tim Concannon, prosecuting, told Portsmouth Magistrates’ Court: ‘While the football was going on, this defendant was effectively singing loudly and being disrespectful in among the graves.
‘He was throwing himself backwards, waving his arms about and going ‘woooooooh’.
‘I’m assuming he was pretending to be a ghost.’
Police arrested him and charged him with using threatening or abusive words or behaviour likely to cause distress. (Via the Daily Mail)
Stallard’s defense included his admittance of guilt, but he also acknowledged that there’s an important distinction to be made in pretending like you’re a ghost in, say, a supermarket or pub and pretending like you’re one in a place where people are really sad about death. But if you’re still hellbent on doing it, at least make it look kind of real so someone comes close to pooping his pants.